I seem to be having one melt down after another...5 years into the diagnose of my husband but have dealt with it since 2001 but did not know what was wrong with him...he was adopted...he is now 49...CAG 45

I am just sad!! Life is just painful!!!!!!!!!!!! so tired of watching him turn into someone I don't know...so tired of me changing into someone i don't know...feeling like withdrawing from everyone because no one understands!!!!!!! and people just keep hurting me!!!!! they say there your friends and then they hurt you!!!! so tired of watching others have a normal life normal husbands healthy kids and wanting back so much a normal life!!! I'm just so tired of it all I wish i could run away but know thats not really what i want I just want NORMAL!! Whatever that is anymore!!!! I think we don't even know anymore...

Nila, I hear you! I feel your pain and understand exactly how you feel. I hate to admit that there are so many times I have looked at other peoples normal happy lives and just wanted to curl up in a ball. This life, however, is the one I have... so I do my best to not stay in that desperate place too long. Because I do love my kids, my life...it's just so hard sometimes. So feel what you're feeling but don't stay too long...sending you much love and of course hugs! {{{{NILA}}}}

Carla

Nila-

We are all in this together. "Normal" changes all the time in life with an illness or without (such as aging, etc.)

The way I choose to look at it is that it could be better but it could also be worse. There are many people suffering in ways even
worse than HD.

I really do not let myself think much about other people and their lives but concentrate more on ours. I try to get us out as much as I
can - try to get us to do things he or I or we both enjoy often.

I also have hope for the future. There is so much happening in research and I pray everyday for those new treatments to come.

It is very important to get out as often as you can as well. We both get out fairly often and I get out even more. I work outside the home
and that is good for me as well. I am fortunate in that I have a job that I am fairly close to home and able to get away if need be almost
anytime.

The way I look at it is that we all have one life. We must play the cards we are dealt. Some have better hands than others. LIfe is
short as it is so try to enjoy as much as you can. I also feel a sense of humor is probably one of the most important things a person can have.
Making light of something can make it easier to handle for both of you.

I will pray for you and hope things get better for you.

Nila I have to tell I do know how you feel, I am going thru the same thing,I will tell you that when you realize this is the normal for you and your family you will be better I was there not going anywhere just feeling sorry for myself and the life that I am living and almost forgot how happy my husband make for 24 years and that is what keep me going and trying to do for him what ever I can, I do miss talking to him everynight before going to bed , going for our walks it is really hard I still taking for walks but he dont talk and if he talks is to himself, I will be praying for you and your family it took me a while to realize that I had to adjust at his needs, my son tells me sometimes that he wish that he can talk to his dad Normal he is fifteen years old I have to tell him that this our normal and is not going to change, it does not get easy praying keep me going.

Nila, WOW I feel ya girl !!!!! Today was a bad day for me as well, had to drive 70 miles to my dentist to have a root canal, my HD hubby had to go with me.
The root canal was good compared to what happened after.
We needed to go to Home Depot to get just one thing, he uses one of those elec carts so he does not get tired and falls, he kept crashing into things and I was getting very frustrated, when ever I tried to help him get out of a jam he would get mad at me as if I had done something wrong to him.
My patience was growing thin and finealy I started treating him like he was a child, by treating him like a child we got through the store easier but all the way home, 70 miles with my jaw hurting and a BAD headache he would not talk to me and if he answered any question I had it was just with a grumble. I am so tired of his attitude, I was thinking it was good for him at a mans store and that would make him happy but no matter what I do he is always grouchy at me.
I have no memory of my hubby without HD, we got married just as HD started in on him, he has been a awful person since I knew him and sometimes I just want to leave but I have to remember I fell in love with him and he doesn't deserve to be treated badly so that makes me rethink myself.
My world revolves around him, I don't even get to go and see my 4 kids and new grandson because I can't take him on a long trip.
Nila, I feel ya girl !!

Wow! I just finished my first post - my story, when I read your help post. My now ex husband is similar an to Marlyssa...talks more to himself than others unless about sports or eating out. Looks like he is about to kill you all the time. When I tell him he is treating me mean an I can't take care of him anymore, he will straighten up. I don't use it till I really mean it tho my therapist says I should more often. I cry a LOT, it's what gets me through. Friends are few cuz they don't get it. I give up explaining. They forget. I stick to my music, headphones on often, writing to family, Facebook, Pinterest dreaming, time with my grandkids, gardening. I leave him home with easy fix foods, phone numbers to call, remote in hand. Otherwise I couldn't keep caring for him. When he needs more help than I can provide, someone else will have to do it...he's so much bigger and stronger than me, and I won't tolerate physical abuse and that will come sooner or later. I watched his dad endure too much from his HD mom, then his dad ended up dying before her,

Thanks for all you have Shared! Sometimes we need to cry sometimes we laugh...sometimes were stronger then other times...but as long as we pull ourself up and keep one going right...My heart goes out to all of you in what your dealing with...many are the she as what i am dealing with...One day at a time!! Nila