So, in an effort to monitor my husband's driving I wanted him to have an evaluation. It takes the responsibility out of my hands, and it will allow for a professional to assess him. He had one done before. On vacation I noticed some differences, but again I was not sure if it was me looking for something or actually a change. So, we discussed, he agreed and that was that.

Let me preface this by saying that my husband had a very bad issue with opiates a few years back and as a result had several accidents, At the time I thought it was HD related. They were not. He did not drive when he lost his license. He is clean and sober nd has been for 2 years. He was eligible to get his license back and resumed driving. No problems. During his application process for SSD, he submitted his driving record. Again, this was at the request of the SW at the COE and we submitted them. He was approved a while back. Done.

Upon a conversation we had regarding telling my daughter, the SW asked why my daughter thought that her dad didn't drive...I explained that he does drive and we had a conversation about that. The psych. had filled out Ken's paperwork for ACCES recently which allows for Ken to go to school and the paperwork stated that he could drive. When I questioned some of the diagnosis, which had never really been discussed with us, (I am a social work grad student and have worked in the field for 15 years) the SW stated--"this is why I don't like people to have their own paperwork". Unethical much?

Fast forward:

My husband called the driving school, they asked for a referral. OK, I had forgotten that they needed it. Ken called the doctor's office and asked for it. He then texted me to contact the SW to have her sign the referral that he faxed. The SW contacted me via email and stated that the "dr was on on a two week vacation (the neuro) and that she would like to wait for him to return...if it was important she would have the psych sign off but she would prefer to wait" that was Friday. She asked that I reply via email. Every other time I speak to her via phone she tells me how "she does not have much time"..

Today I receive an email from her stating that the "dr will want to know why this is being done as we thought your husband was not driving" WHAT??? again I received the "please respond via email"

I did. And what I wrote was not nice. I am unapologetic at this point because I am frustrated with this COE. By the way it is Columbia Presb. in NY which I thought was the "best". I will be honest the psychiatrist here is wonderful though. He has been great with us. I am just so frustrated!!

Me too! For too many reasons to list. And our COE is in St Louis.

Carla

Now I received another message stating that she did not consult the chart befoe reaching out to me. Are you serious????

Yes they are serious, the nurse at the NH read my son's chart yesterday right after the police took him to the psych unit. Why do I continue to be amazed?

I liked you comment "Unethical much?" That social worker doesn't want you to complicate her life. My experience with social workers in my wife's case(s) has shown me that they are more or less people that handle complaints, and contain them.

They try to handle the problem within protocol. If it becomes a complex one, and/or, a liability to them or their employer, they will do whatever is necessary to get the case off their books.

In other words, they are not working for YOUR benefit. They are working for their own self interest. If you threaten their turf, they will move you to the next one with a nasty post-it note on your file.

Notice how the rest of the team keep asking the same questions. When you go from unit to unit, they will call you every shift for a while ask the same questions. They apparently don't have the time to read charts or brush up on the patient history at all. Takes too much of their time...

Hey - I am so sorry that you are going through this!! As you know I have had a terrible experience with that COE, social worker and co. I haven't tried to find another but I know there is one at Long Island Jewish and I have a name there if you are interested. I also thought that Columbia would be the best - it is NYC after all (remember the New Yorker illustration of the US with both coasts detailed and a big empty space in the middle LOL!)

I am the least confrontational person but they have gotten my blood boiling on more than one occasion.

Good luck!!

Hope2:

i know of the LIJ one...it is much closer for us...I have the small problem of someone I know doing their internship for school (we go to school together) there and I feel like that would be a conflict. I plan on have a conversation with them on 9/30 when we go. If things don't improve from now until June, I will switch. I made it abundantly clear to DT via my email that I was not happy, without saying it directly. I just do not comprehend as a professional how you don't read the chart first. But, that's me. As far as Fred's comments...I am a socail worker, soooooo I do have issues with generalizing that all of them act in this capacity. I do understand that there are bad in all professions and that there always needs to be a balance between a business' solvency and the good of the patients. A social worker worth their salt is also an advocate for their client/patient and sometimes needs to battle the establishment too. As far bas this particular SW I think that she has made a decision that I am a hysterical person and she always questions my judgement. When I stated that "we" wanted it as Ken drives the children....and that she heard the liability in that statement, well, then she changed her tune. I know how to talk their talk, I just don't feel like I should have to.

I live in Canada so I don't really know what COE stands for. I just wanted to let klivin know that I agree with the comment about social workers. There are many wonderful social workers out there and, thankfully, I've had two amazing ones be a wonderful addition to my husbands team of professionals.

Lisa, i'm in canada too! coe means centre of excellence, it's equivalent to what we call hd clinics. I'm in bc, where are you?

LOL Klivin,

What you are saying about social workers is that the unprofessional 99% make the other 1% look bad...?

Fred:

What I am saying is that there are no more bad social workers than aany other profession. I work everyday with compassionate, hard working good social workers who go above and beyond. They are my staff and they work with homeless families and individuals who are disabled. In referring clients for services and collaborating on cases I run into my fair share of incapable people, but hey I deal with them at the car repair shop and the bank...teachers, lawyers...there are bad in every kind. The difference is...because HD is a relatively small field...well, its not as easy to switch services as it is to switch mechanics. I also think that policy and funding fuels our ability to do thr job we sometimes want to AND then there is sheer burnout. I feel it is unfair to demonize an entire profession because of a few rotten apples. I am sorry that your experiences have led you to feel this way. But as a professional I know that your 99 percent rule does not apply. imho.

I live in Manitoba.

Very cool Lisa

Klivin, this is what you don't know about Fred lol. He has days when he is just BORED lol, so he says something outrageous and sarcastic, for one reason lol, just to try and get under someone's skin lol. Then he has you defend the system. Then he will say how the system let him down and so many others, then you will say, well yes, that is true. Then he will say his old famous line LOL, we need a huge hd specialty nursing home here is in US, how can we do this and how can we fund this. Then someone tells him we're not interested in that, and then he goes away again for awhile LOL. Sometimes he posts real caring stuff, and other days he has dumber than dumb days, yup, just cus he's bored and wants to play people a little bit, why, cus a stir-up on the forum is always fun LOL So, Fred is just having a dumber than dumb day, and why can i say that? Cus Fred doesn't get mad at anyone, and that's one nice thing. Soooo Fred, you're being dumber than dumb today LOL

Barb... I seriously just love you...and Fred...I just saw the lol in your post. Don't mind my soapbox either...we work hard for very little and I tend to become defensive of "my people"...lol.. I hate incompetence in my field hence my problem with the SW @ the COE.

lol kliving, and i just spoiled fred's gameplan too lol, so now he'll wait another 6 months, and try it again LOL

Barb... I seriously just love you...and Fred...I just saw the lol in your post. Don't mind my soapbox either...we work hard for very little and I tend to become defensive of "my people"...lol.. I hate incompetence in my field hence my problem with the SW @ the COE.

That's okay, and Barb, I don't get bored and say sarcastic things. I am always sarcastic.

The problem I've seen with the discharge planners and "social workers" in the NH business is that they are a little different breed than say someone that distributes goods and services to the poor.

They don't know what to do. Care facilities don't want to deal with this. Doctors don't have clean pat answers for HD. There isn't any real treatment plans that are effective. In short, this disease depresses everyone to some extent.

The discharge planner's job is to get the patient out of the hospital. If they can't find another way, they rely on the family to pick up the slack. Some of them are more diplomatic than others. But that's their job. If they can't find a good plan, they r get very uncomfortable.

And like any profession, they don't like their clients second guessing them. It makes them very uncomfortable. I don't like it in engineering. After all, I put all those bolts in that assembly for a reason. So when someone tells me that they didn't have to use all those bolts, I get a little testy myself.

There isn't a lot of options IMHO. People have to rely on themselves and do the best they can. Anybody that thinks there is a grand plan and lots of resources are going to be disappointed in what they find available for this situation.

ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't divert Fred from his masterplan!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

awesome Barb! Fred: I do agree that there is a business end to what we are talking about and that policy and politics play a huge role. Reimbursement rates from the fed are not adequate and let's face it, private pay is better...discharge planners do suck when they are bad...(in plain English) I agree. I also think that if you, yourself have an advocate (as a caregiver) that can push back it is more helpful. While they may not like clients second guessing them, they tend to respond to other professionals in a better way. They may not like it but they show respect that sometimes they do not show the client themselves. I respect your opinion and do not think you are far off. My problem with this COE's Social worker revolves around her view of me as hysterical....while I have had some hysterical moments, they have been warranted.