I found out I had gene + long before I met my husband. He said he would help take care of me in the future. Well so far he hasnt looked into a thing about it other than when my hdsister committed suicide but thats all forgotten now. I've been very risky in my behavior like a recent shopping addiction. I borrow $ from him I don't pay back and he's constantly screaming at me for it. I feel like my head is making the right decisions but my actions come out different than what I want. He thit care about anything but I do. He comes to my Dr appts but thats it we never talk about it. I try to show him things on internet about it but he doesnt care. He thinks I'm deliberate in what I do. I did try a lot hard to make things better but he just keeps screaming at me about money all the time. I don't recognize myself anymore and even tho I try to do the right things it doesnt always happen. He has bailed me out of situations but Its not without a price tag of him bringing it up constantly. I love him very much & I wonder what happens when I get worse? I'm scared to think about how he's going to react. He thinks I don't care about our situation but I do. Any ideas on how I I can help him understand me and hd better?

Lynda, so sorry to her what you are going through. I am going to give two replies that are 180 degrees apart. please use the message in both and do not take it as an attack.

If I had not care for my SIL and done all my research (before the internet), I would have left my Wife when she started having the mild symptoms. With the SIL and BIL I learned all the buttons to push to cause an outburst and used those subtle items to get both of them placed in care facility.

When the Wife was into her severe compulsvie stage, she would tell every one that I was not taking care of her and was even try to kill her.

Maybe your husband is somewhere inbetween. If he is staying ignorant of the symptoms, especially the ones not really stated in the medical publications he will not be supportive. If it is possible he is awary, but still has not refined his interactions, give him time

You know, couples disagree even if they have the HD gene. I see it at home and I see it with friends who do not battle HD. As a person with HD we tend to focus on HD a lot....really a lot. HD can be a scape goat for some. I think it's one of those things that goes with knowing now and not knowing the future.

Look at it this way. He still loans you money. He still fusses and the cycle repeats. Yes, people with HD do things (all are different) and their caregivers have to deal with it and it's not easy for them either.

Sometime I feel my spouse doesn't pay enough attention to what I tell her about how I feel, I'm feeling different, etc.. She has been very supportive and I don't think she or my family and friends know enough about the disease. I can't change that. I have backed off on showing articles to my wife, she will still read some. Not sure how she interpreted them. I feel my friends get tired of the talk, and frankly they are probably right not wanting to hear about it. They would prefer positive's, what are you doing to help yourself kind of things.

Have you guys tried counseling. It's a good way for you to discuss with someone the things that bother you the most and help you deal with them. Also it may help your husband understand more of what your brain is doing.

Good Luck,

Mike

Up until 3 weeks ago my husband was at risk of HD, we found out then he is actually negative. I will admit we had started to convince ourselves he had the illness and I had began to contribute any moods he had to HD, as sometimes so did he. What an eye opener, it's so easy to blame the illness for any faults in ones personality but the reality is we are all human and make mistakes.
I've seen my inlaws personality changes and have always been keen to find out as much as possible in order to be able to understand and support my husband, he on the other hand avoided finding out the info as much as possible, some people prefer not to face up to reality, which has to be respected to a point but you can't bury your head in the sand forever.

Personally I think your husband needs guidance and councelling. Has he ever attended a HD meeting, that may be a good place to start. I think you need to set a plan in place, if your over spending causes problems and you fear this may get worse can you allow your husband control of your finances and to make sure bills are paid and you only have access to a set amount of money per week or something similar where you can't get yourself into debt?

Wishing you the best of luck
Dee