Hi all! It has been a really long time since I posted on here, mainly because everything has been really quiet. Mr. H moved away, almost across the entire country and I rarely hear anything from him. But I have recently looked at his facebook page and he is posting some way out things. For example, he claims he has rejoined the military and has gotten his overseas assignments, that he is going to UNLV on the GI Bill, that he is taking the government to court for attempted murder. As far as I know, he has a trust fund that he can live off and he has no contact with his family. Is there anything I can do to help him? He is my child's father and for that reason alone I will try to help him. But how can you help someone who hates you? I have even thought of trying to have him arrested just so he might get some help. I feel like he could have a few good years left with treatment to where our son could have some memories but he has refused all treatment and now I think he is even to the stage of not believing he has HD. This is so frustrating. I guess I should just leave well enough alone. We were never married, barely even friends. I keep tabs on him through fake facebook profiles. Any help or advice would be appreciated.

Well, now you're hunting him down with fake facebook profiles huh? It seems that he wants you to leave him alone, and I told you that many many times, but it all falls on deaf ears. I have no sympathy for you doing this, and again, repeat, focus on your child who needs you. You will get sympathy from others, once again, but not from me. Coniving and manipulation do not belong in my world, or anyone elses. Yes, you wont like this, and I wont be writing back to you, because you talk in circles. I don't care if he's your child's father from a one night stand, which he probably regrets a lot, because now he has had to go across the country just so you will leave him alone. Let him live his life with hd in peace, period.

He will never be the father you imagine for your child. I agree you should leave well enough alone (your words) recall him fondly to his child, but dreaming about saving him is not possible or helpful for you or your child. Focus on what is in front of you. mr H will likely make his way into the care he needs without your help, but still will not be able to be who you or your child needs. Tough to hear, but it is the truth about HD and dementia in general. By continuing to follow him you are only prolonging the inevitable, which will be letting go and moving on. You owe it to your child to move on!

You really cannot help him if he does not want your help. Yes, it sounds as if his postings are a bit confabulated, but I'm not sure they are delusional to the point of being a danger to himself or others. While, at first glance, Barb's response seems to be harsh, she is right. He has been driven away, either by his own internal struggles with his HD and the delusions his mind creates, or driven away by your unrelentless actions to control his relationship with your son.

You finally have the peace to raise your son as you wish. Focus on him. One piece of food for thought...if your son has infact inherited this condition, how would you want him to be treated by the world? I hope you plan to introduce HD in a more positive light. People can and have managed to live positively with HD through the right medication and support.

My husband had a VERY rough time earlier on. We were seperated for a while, I was insisting on supervised visits because I was afraid of his potential for violence. He has, thankfully, gotten past that stage in his illness and is able to live peacefully with us, once again.

I get what you are feeling, and I want you to feel supported. Unfortunately, sharing a child does not give you automatic say in his actions. Let him be.

Patty

I guess I was always a sucker for trying to save people. you are all right about this. It is not my job to save him or make him be the person I thought he was. I think for now, I am going to try to just live without the HD ghost hanging over my head. Thank you all. I wish you all well with your personal struggles.

Barb, I am sorry if what I wrote struck the wrong note with you.

I hope you will do as you say, for your sake, your childs sake and Mr. H's sake. He has enough to deal with with HD, disappointing you will just be another thing he can not handle. Sorry, but this one isn't one you can fight, HD most always gets it's way and you have an at risk child to think about.
Wish you luck too.

Vicky