I have a mother with Huntington's and have been dealing/coping with her sympotoms since I was very young. Thankfully, my siblings and I are adopted because my parents were not able to have children. I am the youngest of five adopted, and my mother has been physically, verbally, emotionally abusive to my siblings. I have always been the white flag. Even as a five year old, I was the one sent in to calm her fit's down. She would tear everything out of the cabinets, she hit my sisters, yell and scream. We never knew what we are coming home from school too. My mother doesn't recall any of it. She thinks we were the bad children, not her being a irrational parent. She doesn't remember tearing the house apart or beating my sisters.

As an adult, I resent this but I am still in protective mode with my mom. My sisters have a lot of hostility and anger towards my mother, which I understand, but I still try to push it off (soley) on her Huntington's Disease. It is so frustrating that she doesn't seem to recall or be able to take any responsibility for it.

Is not remembering the anger and rage a part of Huntington's disease? Or am I blaming too much on the disease?

I don't know if it's that they don't specifically remember the hostility, but that they don't remember it the same way you do. When my husband got so violent with me I had to call the police, he told them that he pushed me a little and yelled at me. He either didn't remember or is in denial that he was punching and kicking me too. Even today, he remember's the incident but doesn't recall exactly everything that transpired.
The only way we were able to control the psychological symtoms was to medicate him and it took a several years for the neurologist to put together the right combination of medications. She reminds us often that even those will eventually stop being effective and we will have to continue to make adjustments. Does your mom see a psychiatrist or neurologist? If not, she should, and one with experience with HD.
Are you and your siblings still living with your mother? If so, you must have a plan of escape for when she is physically hostile. Your safety is most important. Unfortunately, most often a person with HD is unaware of many of his/her symptoms and will tell you that you're the one with the problem, not them. It's so sad, but is the hard reality.
I'm so sorry that you and your siblings have to go through this. This forum is a wonderful place to vent and seek answers to the many questions you have. Many of our stories are remarkably similar and we all have different ways of handling situations as they come up. I hope your mom can find the help she needs. Know that we are here for you always and are thinking of you, and those of us that pray, will be praying for you.
Hugs to you and your siblings. I'm sad that your adoptive experience has been so difficult, and it makes me wish I was your mom.

Not remembering it the same way we do is a excellant point. I think that makes a lot of sense now. She reverts it around on them. I think I read that your husband was taken to the hospital to be sedated instead of jailed. As an adult, we should have gotten help. But we didn't as children. I am sorry that you have had to go through that with your husband. I can see some of the things you've said on other forums in my parents.

No, thankfully none of us are still living with her except for my father. Sadly, I dread going home for a visit for a variety of reasons. I hate seeing her progressing. My adoptive experience is much better than what my other life would have been so I am thankful for that. Thankful my mother was a good mother at times. Thankful I am the one closest to my mom.
But it's hard to be that one. Her anger has ceased physically, but verbally and emotionally she still uses it. She still throws tantrums but its more rare than common. I feel bad for my dad, as he dailey hears "I hate you". Her head has made up stories in her head about him doing bad stuff to her. He has never done them. I know this because I have witnessed that

She won't consider medicine of any form. She wont even take blood pressure medicine. I don't know what else we are going to do. Out of five other close relatives, she has been the only one besides her brother who has this rage. Her brother was an alcoholic. So I atributed that to his abusive behaviour. She has always been compulsive with religion, and it get's worse every year. So hard to see your parent be so angry and miserable all the time. The things that happen are so crazy that noone out side of a HD world would really understand or believe them.

This is a vent.

My son (who is at risk for HD but not symptomatic...but he has other issues) has a similar problem. He will fly into rages occasionally (thankfully getting less frequent as he gets older), but often doesn't remember much about what has happened when he's in that state. He had one at school the other day because another kid punched him at recess. I happened to be picking him up for an appointment, so he took his anger out on me. He viewed it as me attacking him and doesn't remember struggling with the staff that were there trying to help calm him. He also can't really remember a lot of the things he said. His version of events is distorted. It's really disturbing to me and hard to reason/explain when he's claiming his version is correct. His therapist says that the wiring between his emotional center and thinking center is probably faulty. Probably for a different reason than your mom, but maybe HD had affected her brain in a similar fashion. I remember reading that everyone is affected differently, but unfortunately I have heard several stories similar to what you are describing with your mom. I also have a friend whose mom probably has some mental illness who was on the verge and actually often abusive with her kids. She is in total denial about everything. Either she doesn't want to face facts, or she truly doesn't remember what all her kids have told her now that they're grown. The human brain is a fascinating thing. I admire you for trying to be there for her and for trying to keep the peace. I think the older kids may just want to stay away if they are so full of anger and hurt. I hope they can try to forgive her.

Hi,
I am at ask risk person who had a father pass away at age 51 with HD and now have a 47 yr old sister who is in a State Hospital with HD. Although my sister doesn't have those violent outbursts, I do have a friend whos HD father did the same exact thing. There's a great guide on the HDSA.org that explains things to expect and unfortunately I think it is. Its so hard not to hold anger towards your situation, and I find myself in the same boat with my sister. She choose men over her family for years, and been in and out of our life.
Have you thought about reaching out to a therapist?
Christine Burke