Another question,I'm sure I'm a bother. Has anyone expierienced verbal abuse from a phd? I ask a simple question and get called an ahole and f u. I ask why later on and she says she felt like she was being attacked,which is not the case. It was just a simple question. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone sometimes.

Yes and it's not uncommon.

This is very typical of HD-sometimes the first real noticeable symptoms. Starts to become hard to separate the disease from the person you knew. There are meds that can help, but not totally eliminate. Sorry you are dealing with this, I am in the same boat and trying very hard to just not take it personal, however, it still breaks my heart and it's a bit unpredictable. One day I say something and it rolls on by, the next minute, I can say the same thing and get totally attacked for it. Unfortunately this is one major reason so many of these HD+people are alone or in care facilities before they really need "full time care", divorced, estranged from families....
V

Thanks,Vicky. It really is hard. In her eyes everything is my fault and I really don't like talking to her because it just ends in me getting called names.

Sadly, this is normal for someone with HD. Until my husband started displaying symptoms, he rarely, if ever, cursed or raised his voice. It was one of the many things about him that I loved. In the early stages of the disease he started cursing at me, the kids, sports on television, even the TSA at the airport, which, by the way, he was suspended from work for 3 days for arguing with a TSA agent. We became used to being called stupid, idiots, etc... It bothered the kids more than it did me, but with the help of my family, we paid extra attention to the kids and spent a lot of time talking about the changes their dad was going through and that even though his brain was making him say those things, deep down, his heart still loved them.
I have noticed that since he was put on Risperidone, not only did his chorea subside, but he also stopped most of the name calling.

As far as I can tell it has only been directed at me and a few times towards my daughter. Its dishearting to be called names and then be called babe or dear a lil while later.

Very common and as some of the others said, one of the main reasons for being placed in a NH, or being divorced/estranged from those who love them. Medication can help, but in my experience the progression of the disease, being bounced in and out of psych units and NHs and medication brought relief. This was over a 2 1/2 year period. It was a terrible time for him and our family. My son now lives here with us again and there are new challenges, but they are definitely not the worst part of HD.

Take care of yourself, it will enable you to better care for her.

Carla

Thanks Carla,I will do my best.

Hi I agree with all being said... My Husband is like a light switch.. Every day before he gets home the kids and I walk on egg shells unsure what mood we will get... When in a fowl mood its mostly my Son and I that cop it. I think whats most hurtful is the nasty things and the put downs then looking at us like we are stupid and have all the issues. Then when all is finished and hes calmed down he doesnt understand why we want to steer clear even when explained to him he still doesnt get the hurt that he caused.

Ditto Karlat's scenario!!! I am "negative", "unsupportive", "don't get it" " "no one cares", I "never try to help", I "cause his anxiety"...on and on and on, it's a real challenge to make my self go home each day and subject myself to that. If I don't say anything he can't stand the "look" on my face. while he is ranting at how horrible I am. If I try to explain something, he just gets madder and louder. Then a few minutes later it is like nothing was ever said.
Again, so sorry any of us have to be in a support group for this dreadful disease. It is so heartbreaking on every level with no time to really grieve what's already gone.

Vicky

Yep,I feel the same.I've been blamed that I'm the reason she is on xanax and klonopin.She could be nice some days but after she does call me names and put me down,theres no apology after and she acts like nothing happened at all.

Forgot to mention that when I question her behavior or the verbal abuse. I get a very mean "I can do what I want" response.

Verbal abuse? that is what I think this disease should be called!! I am bitter right now, so much Twilight zone moments, so many "caught off guard" moments, everytime I see him I just don't want to look in his direction or make eye contact. Mornings are liveable, afternoons are tough, evenings are tourment, late nights early mornings 1 or 2 am he is real nice. What this has done to me is strange, I am not me anymore, I feel manipulative, if I go behind his back for his own good it bites me when he finds out and he always does find out, I get told demening things that hurt to the core. (please excuse my spelling)

I married this man 13 years ago not knowing he had the onset of HD, It all showed up on the wedding night it really did, he ignored me the entire honeymoon and accused me of ignoring him. I became so insecure I stayed with him thinking suicide often because of the abuse. I pulled myself together and then 11 years later I find out he has HD. So I guess what I am saying is maybe this man I married was abusing me vervally because of the HD the entire time we have been married and so for the rest of his life now I have to take care of him and be sweet and kind. I find this very hard todo but I am doing it !!

I hate HD and feel for any caregiver/wife/husband/ mom/dad/friend who takes care of a person with HD!!!

Marlysa,thank you for your reply.I know it's hard but stay strong.I have gotten alot of advice off of this forum,everyone is very helpful.

I hate that this has been your ENTIRE married life! I have had 22 awesome years with a wonderful man. He was diagnosed in July of this year. We have had so many great times that I can still somewhat separate the man from the HD. We have good days and not so good days and I have cried so much, I can't believe there are still any tears left. I am trying so hard to find some sense of peace here, but so far I just want so desperately to get to the part where I can actually help him. Right now I just do everything wrong and "don't get it", am "selfish" and not "normal" (his words) If I try to help him in public, I am just "trying to get attention" and "embarrassing him" if I try to help him in private, I am not doing it right and "don't understand"-how could I...
I am trying and will continue to do so, and hope that one day the cure for this hideous disease will become a reality and we can just shut this support group down!!! The day no one has to deal with this, hope I am around to see it!
Vicky

Vicky