Not saying all families do but I try and talk to my wifes family and tell them this is'nt her and something is wrong but all they do is pretend that it could be something else.I'm not wishing this disease on her but it does run in her family and since she won't listen I ask her family to talk to her and they totally disregard what I say. Very frustrating!

Denial is so much better than facing this fate. I personally love denial and would live in that state as long as I didn't have to take care of her and watch the decline. If she truly has HD and that is the change in her behavior, it won't get through to her whether YOU or HER family talk to her.
She will get more and more symptoms if she is positive and all you can do is treat them as they come...ie depression, anxiety, anger, movement, etc... Won't really make a difference who believed you at that point.
This thing doesn't hide , all you can do is assume she is positive and treat her as though she has a dreadful disease that has changed her until or unless she is willing to get blood tested to either confirm or deny your suspicions.

If they admit she has it, it also brings their own at risk status to the forefront too. Easier just to think YOU are over reacting.
Sorry your dealing with this possibility.
V

Thanks Vicky

I don't understand this denial behavior either. My ex husbands family is still dealing with the effects of sweeping it under the rug well into the 5th generation. My motto is to talk about it, make sure my grandchildren are aware of the possibility of passing this disease on to their children and being responsible. I hope they find a cure for this monster but I've been around this for over 40 years and it seems that "the cure" is right around the corner. I prefer to stop it before it takes another family member. Both of my sons have HD and I have 3 grandkids, 1 has tested negative and the other 2 live at risk.
I never even heard a word of it when I was going through hell with my ex...I found out at my ex sister-in-law's funeral. By that time, my oldest son had his kids. I would not wish this on anyone! Knowledge is power and the only way to cure HD is not to get it. I would move forward as if your wife has it, I knew before my kids were tested that something was wrong and when I looked up the symptoms of HD after that funeral, I knew exactly what it was. Shock and grief at the news to be sure but at least now I could seek out what treatment there is for them.
Best to you in your journey.

Carla

Thank you Carla any insight is greatly appreciated.

My grandfather's sister died aged 99 a couple of years ago. As a child she recalled her father terrorising the family, jumping out of bushes to scare her as she walked to school, having to leave home then go into an asylum where he died 6 years later. Two of her sisters and three of her brothers had HD. They died of it in the 1920s, 40s, 50s and 80s. All untreated. They all lived in the same town as her, as did all the cousins, nephews, nieces and extended family members who had HD. She saw relatives as young as 8 develop HD and die in their teens.

Her whole life she refused to accept that anyone in her family was dealing with HD or any other disease. That's 99 years of total denial despite the evidence hitting her in the face daily. As frustrating as it is, you have to give up on trying to make some people discuss or even acknowledge HD. They do not want to see it or even believe in its existence, especially not in dozens of members of their own family.

Thank you for the insight itchyscrathcy. They just make me seem like a bad person for bringing this up and they say they don't like to over analyze.

I have thought about this for a long time and have come to the conclusion that this disease sometimes brings on an inability to assess and define things as they are. There must be a section of the brain that gives us a 'sense' that something is wrong and in some families that part of the brain is affected. The brain is so complex. That is not saying that there is a fair amount of denial alongside this.

I believe that the denial and/or lack of discussion about the disease can stem from the sheer helplessness felt by some people who have lived with the HD in their family sometimes for many generations. ie It's in the family, there's no cure, there's (traditionally) no treatment for it and all you can do is live with it and carry on regardless taking each day as it comes.

There's also a sense that people new to the disease, maybe marrying into the family, when alerted to HD suddenly want to take action, fight it, cure it, look for answers, rally the troops etc. Taking affirmative action, studying up, being proactive, asking questions etc is the natural reaction when faced with a new medical problem. But when the family has known about and lived with HD for many generations, even if they didn't have an exact name for it, they don't necessarily want to be rallied. Or made to feel like they failed a bit by not realizing that now there are things that can be tried, drugs, exercise etc which may help combat or alleviate some of the symptoms.

One other thing to remember is that sometimes family loyalties halt discussion. A relative might want to talk to you about HD but they won't because they don't want to betray the loyalty of their brother/sister/cousin/ father etc. I have a very elderly relative who speaks to myself and my mother about her father who had HD. He was untreated, an alcoholic and he had the psychosis factor like my grandfather which made him very difficult and often dangerous. Her children are at retirement age themselves and know their grandfather had HD but she has never ever discussed it with them in any detail. They have never heard any of the tales about what he did and it will go with her to her grave because she remains loyal to her father and doesn't want to tarnish the memory of him for her children, grandchildren etc.

Honestly, it's a minefield and quite often a thankless task for anyone trying to open up big group family discussions about HD. My advice is for you to pinpoint the family member who you think might be most likely to talk to you, choose your moment V.E.R.Y carefully for a one on one, pour a coffee, go gently and ease a few of your HD concerns into the discussion.

Thank you everyone for the advice.