Hi,just looking for some advice from anyone who knows anything about this disease. My wife is 33 and HD runs in her family,her sister is currently in the later stages.She was acting strange for a month or so before everything collapsed. I caught her cheating,abusing drugs and alcohol and verbally abusing me.She also seems very narcissistic,saying things like I'm not even on her level anymore.After discovering all these things when I ask her about them she constantly lied. She blames me for almost everything also,I also noticed one of her feet when she was sitting she would move and also sometimes in her sleep. I don't know where all this came from but she was on anti depressants for a couple years prior and not sure if this is HD and that was the start of things. I'm just confused because she still is able to work and drive and the verbal abuse is directed at me and only me. I have talked with her father about this and he said he doubts it is that and she would of been showing symptoms much earlier.I believe him because he watched his wife pass away from it. Her attitude is just so non caring anymore when she was never like that before. There is more I wanted to write but forgot some of it,so stressed and heartbroken. Thanks for any advice in advance.

Hi there, Maybe she needs to be tested?? If HD runs in her family she has a 50% chance of having it I believe.. My husband has tested pos and although he also manages with most day to day things like working and driving he also can be abusive and very irritable over nothing. HD runs in his family also.
Karla

Thank you for your reply. I couldn't imagine even bringing that up to her,the things she would call me would be horrendous. We really aren't on speaking terms right now,it's like she just doesn't care. I forgot to mention we have a daughter and now mostly worried about the 50% inheritance of the disease with her.

So sorry to that you are here (that is having a loved one that is at risk).

changes in personality could be from HD.

the age of onset can vary greatly in families as my wifes sister was acting very strange in her 20's with minor chorea. My wife went off the deep end in her late 40's with hardly no chorea noticable.

I was pretty sure the wifes personality change was HD and beared with her through it. There is a nerological sympton where the Phd is totally unaware of her changes or even the movements. I understand the fear of discussing HD with her. "walking on egg shells" is how most discribe their life

Thank you for you reply. I know how people describe the walking on eggshells.When I discuss it with other people in her family they just say "its a mid life crisis" or "symptoms would of begam sooner" or "she doesnt have chorea like her uncle or mom". I know what I saw and experienced before I left,shes not the person she once was.Im not crazy or trying to talk bad about her to them but there are certain things like I mentioned above that no one would notice or see.

When she is driving, can she hold a constaint speed?

I know it sounds a little off, but I noticed this with Wife, SIL and BIL

Thanks for your reply,Havent drove with her in a while maybe some issues with pressing the brake at times but I dont really remember.

Hi there my mother in law did not display any obvious signs until she was in her early sixties. Her children who have the illness have not shown symptoms until their forties. Their first symptoms were behavioural not obvious movement.

Thanks Daisy for your reply. No matter how mean she is to me or what she did, I hope to god it's not HD for my daughters sake.

Hi I also have 2 children with a 50% chance.

Hi,karlat. Its heart wrenching just thinking about it.

I totally understand your dilemma. My husband was the most mild mannered human on the planet, until this wretched disease. He still is to some extent, but I understand the eggshells, not always certain what is going to set him off or when. Pretty much only directed at me for now and always something I do wrong. When he gets that way, I try really hard to just not take it personal and not argue, that usually makes it worse and NEVER really gets him to see the reality of what he's going off on.
Like your situation, no one would really believe he acts that way sometimes. He is SO nice to everyone of his therapists which I am so thankful for.
The onset can be different for everyone. My husband's mother was diagnosed at 70 and still lives independently in an assisted living complex. She drove until about 74 years old. My husband has a higher CAG (repeat count) and he has mild symptoms for a few years, but is was tested in July0f this year and now has full on symptoms, depression, chorea, falls, balance issues, focus issues, ocd, and mood swings. He is on disability from work. He is 58 and I just have to realize this ain't his Mama's HD. I have 3 stepsons-all at risk and 1 biological granddaughter at risk.
Sorry any of us are dealing with this, but you are smart to research this, as I feel many people in your shoes would have already left after what you have dealt with. Most of these patients are abandoned and alone because most people do not understand enough to realize what this is all about. I do wish you and your daughter the best of luck and hopefully they can treat her symptoms whether or not she has this disease or not.
Vicky

Thank you Vicky,it is hard.

This is exactly what I experienced with my husband. Cheating, lying, abusing alcohol, prescription meds, and the verbal abuse. Everything was my fault. He would call his mother and tell her all sorts of lies about me. When I'd confront him, he'd try to justify it by taking something small and insignificant and making it seem huge. Everything was my fault.

Example: After work one afternoon I stopped at the mall to buy new work shoes because they were on sale. I bought the shoes and found a coat for my daughter on clearance for $7.00 (marked down from $65.00). I came home with the bag and he flipped out. Later that day I hear him on the phone with his mother telling her that I went on a shopping 'spree' and am spending all his hard earned money. Forget the fact that I work too, and my 'spree' was a whopping $27.00.

When I confronted his mother that maybe this was early HD, she said the same thing your father in law said. Nope, he would have shown signs earlier. Families tend to want to deny this disease and sweep it under the rug. As I look back now, he was showing symptoms long before I even met him. They were just brushed off as 'stress'.

He was able to work and drive for awhile. Although he switched jobs (or lost them) frequently and had numerous tickets. Then things finally hit the fan and my husband was forced to test 5 years ago. Sure enough at age 42 he had a CAG of 45 and he was well past early stage. Since then he has declined fast and has been in a nursing home for the last 2 years.

This disease goes at its own pace and is different for everyone. You can't rely on how her mothers symptoms progressed.

Thank you for the insight,indigo.

I agree that the family are in complete denial. Unless she's been tested and found CAG in the normal range, there's a 50% chance these symptoms are a result of HD. In addition, you can't even estimate when symptoms would appear unless you know how high the CAG repeats are.
For many years my husband was a responsible, loving partner and father, rarely yelling or swearing. In his early 40's he began spending a lot of money, making bad financial decisions, and it didn't take much to get him very angry (anger outburst were overly inflated with respect to the situation). Of course the reasons for his anger was always our fault, never his. He worked at the airport and was suspended a for arguing with TSA agents over bringing an ice pack in his lunch box, as well as speeding and red light running tickets. If I would have known that HD was in the family, it would have saved the family from a lot of pain, heartache, and financial ruin over several years of not knowing why there was such a change in his personality.
My advice is to visit the HDSA website and become as knowledgeable as possible on the disease. The physician's guide to HD is also available on the website which has a wealth of infomation. If you wife's family is receptive, share as much as you can with them. If you cannot influence her to see the doctor, perhaps her father or siblings can.
Good luck to you. You have a long road ahead of you, keep the faith.

Djcloc, thank you for info

As far as her family goes in addition to what I said in the previous posts,they say it could be and something to keep an eye on as my marriage continues to sink.She got very selfish very fast and everything is hers hers hers now. She does get mad at me easily for instance saying I was looking at her too long amongst other things. When I would try and talk to her and ask whats going on,she always replied with "I dont know" or maybe. Very frustrating.

Forgot to mention on top of everything else she is stuck on seperation/divorce no matter what I say or beg and plead. I suggested counseling and she agreed only to change her mind the next day.

indigo9585 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is exactly what I experienced with my
> husband. Cheating, lying, abusing alcohol,
> prescription meds, and the verbal abuse.
> Everything was my fault. He would call his mother
> and tell her all sorts of lies about me. When I'd
> confront him, he'd try to justify it by taking
> something small and insignificant and making it
> seem huge. Everything was my fault.
>
> Example: After work one afternoon I stopped at the
> mall to buy new work shoes because they were on
> sale. I bought the shoes and found a coat for my
> daughter on clearance for $7.00 (marked down from
> $65.00). I came home with the bag and he flipped
> out. Later that day I hear him on the phone with
> his mother telling her that I went on a shopping
> 'spree' and am spending all his hard earned money.
> Forget the fact that I work too, and my 'spree'
> was a whopping $27.00.
>
> When I confronted his mother that maybe this was
> early HD, she said the same thing your father in
> law said. Nope, he would have shown signs earlier.
> Families tend to want to deny this disease and
> sweep it under the rug. As I look back now, he was
> showing symptoms long before I even met him. They
> were just brushed off as 'stress'.
>
> He was able to work and drive for awhile. Although
> he switched jobs (or lost them) frequently and had
> numerous tickets. Then things finally hit the fan
> and my husband was forced to test 5 years ago.
> Sure enough at age 42 he had a CAG of 45 and he
> was well past early stage. Since then he has
> declined fast and has been in a nursing home for
> the last 2 years.
>
> This disease goes at its own pace and is different
> for everyone. You can't rely on how her mothers
> symptoms progressed.

Funny story about the shoes,I bought shoes for me and my daughter from shoe carnival and she complains about it now. Complains about alot of stuff from the past and its all my fault.