it has been three weeks on trying not to end up we I am right now, taking him to the doctor and doing what I have to do and still my husband end up in the clinic again, starting getting bad last thursday after two week telling me that he knew I have many boyfriends and that he was not stupid that he want it a divorce y try any suggestion they gave with no success I called the doctor and explain what was going on he told me to give me up to 40mg of abilify per day during the weekend but I did not work last tuesday we had an appointment with doctor bloom and he did not want to go I told him that she was going to try to give him less medication and did not worked I call the doctor and told him that he was getting worse not only he want a divorce he want me out of the house in five minutes or else his friends will take care of me yes he was talking to people again, my daughter try to convence to go to his doctor in town and he told us he was not going nowhere with us, I went to the doctor office with my power of attorney and beg him to come and see him so he can prescribe medication he told me that I have to bring him to his office and that if he does not want to come to the office call 911, you probably know how frustrate I felt on my way home my daughter called me and told me that it was getting worse, we decided to call the caps and when they came in convence to go with them if they will take us to jail because we were overmedicate him and he was not sick he was cure and was an angel, he want everybody out of his house except my youngest kid, I am hoping that he gets evaluate faster this time and start giving madication soon because my new power attorney specially for this situation, I feel so num and its not a dont care I feel like I am broken, my daughter was telling that while she was crying she thought she was getting stronger , I told care that is normal that she let out and cry all she wants that will make her feel better I know that for sure, I dont feel bad this time when I put him in the clinic because I was not able to handle him because that was not my husband the father of my children that is trying to hurt us I have to be able to take care of him and take care of my children so I did what I need i to do to keep everybody safe.

Safety must come first! You did the right thing. I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this ordeal and I hope that a medication change will help him.

thanks marsha

I've been there, and it feels like the worst feeling in the world. On one hand you are relieved that you and your kids are no longer in danger, but the feeling of guilt and shame is so heavy. He is where he needs to be right now. Hopefully, with the right therapy and medication, he will turn around so you can have a relationship again. He can't hurt himself or anyone else. He will be getting meals and care and meds he needs.
When I supported having my husband committed, I thought it was absolutely the end. How can we ever get past my putting him there. He needed it, and I do not think he would still be here today, if he had not had that time in the hospital.

He is back with us again now. He is compliant with his meds and able to care moderately well for himself.

I hope you can use this time to heal yourself and your kids. You need that too.

Take care.
Patty

thank you I really need to hear that for someone that when thru, because noone knows the feeling that we have in our house, and we are trying to stick together and support each other to get thru this dificul time, thanks for your coment.

thank you I really need to hear that for someone that when thru, because noone knows the feeling that we have in our house, and we are trying to stick together and support each other to get thru this dificul time, thanks for your coment.

Sorry you are going through this. I went through this with my husband in October 2011. He had started having delusions and the same story of him thinking I had boyfriends. He thought they were on the roof, in the closets and even sliced open his mattress looking for them. His neuro changed his medication and things got worse. They got so bad he tried to burn the house down while the kids and I slept. That was the last straw. The police and ambulance came and took him to the hospital. The police chief waited with my husband until I could get there. He took me aside and gently said "you cannot do this any longer, you and your children are not safe".

My husband spent 3 weeks in the hospital psych unit while they changed his medications and then was placed in a nursing home. I was devestated to have to do this (he was only 45) but all his Dr.'s and the police all agreed this was for the best. I cried a lot. I was sad and relieved and felt guilty all at the same time.

It's been almost a year and a half now and looking back it was the best decision. Sometimes when your so close to the situation you can't see what everyone else sees. You have to take a step back.
Our kids see a therapist regularly to talk about their feelings but the biggest thing is that they feel SAFE at home again. They can once again have friends over and we can go places without worrying what will happen when we're gone. This has been huge for them and has given me some peace.

My husband has adjusted well to his new surroundings. It wasn't easy at first but the routine and strict medication schedule is the most important thing we can do for him. He is still heavily medicated and last fall they tried lowering some of his medications without success. He needs to be in a care facility. He needs to be heavily medicated so that he can get the best care possible.

To ease my feelings I had to go back and remember my husband before HD started to affect his brain and took away his ability to reason. He would never have hurt anyone and would have protected the kids and myself against anything. That man would tell me I did the right thing.

Although caregivers go through similar situations, your outcome may be different. The only right outcome is the one which is best for your phd and your family. We can't 'fix' HD so we have to look at what is the best way to care for the patient while still keeping the rest of the family safe.

Take care,
Chris

I remember a few years ago Chris and I were constant supports for each other here and by email. You will find many spouses who have gone, or are going through the exact same thing. You can get through this. As Chris said, getting through this difficult time is heart wrenching, but the best outcome is you and your kids feeling safe again. Then, with some opportunity for healing, you can begin to repair your friendship with your husband. Whether he stabilizes to come home, or if he needs placement, you will no longer be a victim to the HD, you can again be a loving family member and carer. You are welcome to pm me if you need to speak more frankly. Take care.
Patty