Hi everyone, I was wondering by any chance you tell me if anything I can do, lately my husband wont talk at all, my kids and I keep trying to talk to him until he gets mad, it just he just seat and stared at the door or the wall or else he just walk around until he gets tired, he does eat good go for walks he know all of us, he does not get mad often and when he does is not really bad, later on he would come back and apologized, its just would like to know if I can do anything to try to bring him back its so hard to see him going away, I love my husband so much, I know this is not bad yet I have been reading and know what to expect, he does take all his medicine everyday, its just see him more gone than before, sometimes we play monopoly he likes that, thanks for reading this .

I don't have anything to add except I feel your pain and wish all of you the best. It's great you and others are comfortable enough to share these painful experiences.
Mike

Processing slows down in HD and it sounds like it's time to adapt communication.

1. Remember he can't multitask now so when you want to talk you should avoid distractions.

2. Give him time to take in what you are saying and give him time to respond.

3. Simplify your sentences. When I talk I go all around Robin Hood's barn before getting to my main point and I had to stop that when speaking with my former husband and make each sentence brief and clear.

4. Don't start off in a confusing way. The example I always use is when my former husband asked me if I had called our daughter about coming to dinner as we had decided I would do. I said, "No, she called me before I could dial her number and she said she could come." All he heard was "No" and got very angry at me for not following through (as he thought).

5. Provide information. Whereas before my ex would have remembered what we had bought at the grocery store and what we had in the freezer, after the disease progressed he might well have forgotten. So instead of asking what he wanted me to fix for dinner, I would tell him what was possible, ie "I could fix chicken breasts or lasagna tonight. Which would you prefer?"

6. When he is calm and receptive to discussing this, talk about how you can help him with communication. My ex used to love to go to restaurants but it became a frustrating experience for him. I found out that he would forget what he planned to order if the waiter interrupted him. For example, he might want a steak, a baked potato and salad, but if the waiter stopped his ordering to ask how he wanted the steak cooked, he would forget that he wanted the potato and salad. We agreed that he would tell me his order and if he was interrupted I would finish it. We resumed going to restaurants successfully!

This is what my family is experiencing now with my sister. It really bothers me. She barely says anything and she (since we became adults) has alsways been my friend: someone I could always talk too, laugh with, and complain about our mother with... I really miss being able to do that. SHe replies "Yup" to just about everything.

What makes it worse is that no one (family or friends) wants to hear my frustration about this issue. They ask how she is doing (I don't bring it up) but as soon as I answer, they change the subject.

All people want to hear is "Oh, she's doing just fine." So, that's what I always say now.

thanks so much for the input and suggestion Its greatly appreciate it, and Bluedaisy I understand your frustration but let me tell you that outside of the home of HD person noone will understand what you are going thru, My husband its a retired marine and everytime while working I see people that use to work with him and find out that he has HD they just dont get it this people use to be in our barbacue parties and since my husband got sick noone visit and in a way thats better for us because he gets really nervious and really dont like to be around a lot people, in this site is that I let out when I am feeling frustrate it, I do know how you feel me and my husband use to talk all the time before we went to bed my god I miss those days so much but it is what it is and I have to keep myself strong for him and my kids and just take it one day at the time. Thanks again for reading this.

I hear you both. My husband was never a big conversationalist, but he would atleast share opinions and discuss things with me. Now, conversation is quite an effort and very one sided. I look at other couples and listent to discussions. How I miss being able to talk with my husband and get more than one word answers. I do try to sit and spend some time when I get home to see how his day went, find some things about my day that will interest him. Marsha's suggestions are spot on. The effort is worth it for his stimulation, but it is hard at times.

Take Care
Patty

Is your husband on an antidepressant? For Ray, he never said he was depressed (and I didn't really think he was; just quiet) . . . when he went in the nursing home, though, they started him on an antidepressant and his mood greatly improved! He wanted to participate more in things again and even though communication was difficult, he tried a lot more . . . just a thought.

yes he is on antidepressant, I took him to san diego and they check all his medicine which they agree that was good for him for now, he goes for walk with me every evenning he eats properly he takes his medicine without complaining and if I am not working he is always with me where ever I need to go he wants to go which I really like so he can see other people, but its like you are by yourself because he dont talk but I can see on his eyes that he likes looking around and thats make me happy, I just have to keep on eye on him and see if he is talking to himself and seems like he see and talk to people that are not there thats when I call the doctor and increase his medication for a few days so far its has been working good and pray at least until my son gets out of high school to be this way then I am planning to move by family and probably stop working and take care of him 24/7 time will tell, thanks again for all your imput I really appreciate it I do feel a lot better thinking that I am not alone on this thanks everyone.