I have been reading the stories and experiences here and it has given me some insight into the things that I have been dealing with, First, I am not the one with the HD. It is in my husbands family, probably for quite a few generations but only just a confirmed diagnosis with his mother a year ago. She did exhibit symptoms for a long time but refused to go to the dr, about it. I noticed years ago the uncontrolled movements in her hands etc as well as changes in her behaviour and physical capabilities. Seven or eight years ago I noticed the same hand movements in my husband, but I put it down to one of those quirky family things although I did mention it to him at the time that he did the same thing as his mother. He is now 46 years old and his mother is 65. Granny passed away several years ago and they always just called her the crazy one.

Not long after I noticed that in him other things began to change with him as well. It was very subtle at first and we attributed it to stress. He began to make bizarre statements about things people were saying when he was on the job. He kept saying we had to leave our property because someone else wanted it, that the hwys dept wanted access to it, or that a neighbour had offered him money to move away. No amount of my questioning could get any reasonable answer from him about these statements. We had worked all summer to fence the property (it was acreage) and one day he just hopped on the bulldozer that we had and drove striaght through the fence that we had worked so hard on. I asked him what he was doing and again he said the hwys dept wanted access. None of this was tru. At about the same time he started sleeping alot and was finding it hard to do his job. He was a long haul truck driver...he would pull over along the way and sleep only hours after leaving home. Then he started saying that his coffee was being poisoned at all the places he would stop along the way, even when fellow drivers brought him a coffee he thought it was poisoned. He believed our well was poisoned too altough when I tried to say I was drinking the water too and I was fine he had no answer for that. He even took a sample of the coffe to the police to be tested but all they had to say to him was have you ever been depressed. By this time I was getting really worried about him and was thinking maybe he was schizophrenic. The HD was still undiagnosed in the family at this time. I mentioned to him that I thought he was going off the deep end and he agreed.
Soon after that he started to say that his cell phone was being tapped as well as our land line and that the Hells Angels were after him. Before long everyone we knew was a Hells Angel and even the company he worked for was run by them. He claimed people were spying on us at our home.
And then he started to change towards me as well, often calling me and asking the oddest questions. He started to get mean verbally calling me all sorts of names. I was at this point trying to get him to the drs to find out what was going on but he was having none of it.

He also started getting more and more clumsy and his physical strength was diminishing. He was having a really hard time making any decisions on the most mundane things and would keep changing his mind about things. He also started to have a hard time remembering things from one day to the next. Other people began asking me what was going on with him because he was acting oddly.

There is much more to share but will have to save it for another day as I am off to work now.

Very sorry to hear about what you and your husband have been going through. Welcome to this site. Everyone here is great to "talk" with and many will understand just what you're going through. There is a lot of great wisdom and support here.

Thanks...it has been nothing short of a nightmare for me. I will continue to write about it when I have the time!

Not long after all this started he became fixated on the idea that we had too leave our property behind. I argued consistently that it wasn't the smart thing to do but he said he was going and told me I could stay behind if I wanted to. For a myriad of reasons it was not something that I could easliy handle on my own so I reluctantly agreed. I set about finding a place to rent and we made the move to a place that was an 8 hour drive away. Within days he started to complain about the place we had moved to and we only stayed a short time. Over the next 2 years we moved 4 times because he would complain about wherever we were. I still was not aware of the HD at this point but have come to realize that constant complaining is a part of it.

At this same time his demeanour started to change towards me too...where he had once been affectionate and loving towards me, he now began to talk down to me, calling me names and he withdrew most of his affection. Up until this time we had always been close, affectionate and shared light hearted banter easily. People often commented how loving we were towards each other, what a good couple we were! About this time when all these strange things were happening I began to question my own sanity and thought maybe I was the one with the problem. I was still trying to get him to seek help but he was having none of it.

Other personality changes began where he no longer seemed to care about anything that he used to be diligent about like looking after vehicles or things that needed fixing in the house. I couldn't seem to get him interested in anything. All this time I was searching for answers on what was going on. I knew he had to go to see the dr soon for his yearly evaluation for his thyroid disease so I went so far as too go and the see the dr ahead of time and tell him what was going on with him as a sort of heads up. I accomanied him to that appointment but when the dr asked him certain questions about the state of his mental well being he out and out lied to him and nothing was looked into or done. My concerns were just brushed off. Even after we had the positive diagnosis for his mother and had the paper work the dr brushed it off and said he was too old already. After researching for an extended period of time after her confirmed diagnosis things finally made sense to me and I once again brought up the fact that he should be tested but met with the same resistance that he was fine, that I was the one who had a problem.

He also began to get more and more wreckless when driving to the point that I got scared to be with him and would refuse to go most of the time. If I did have to be with him and I asked him to slow down he would get mad at me for it.


Then started his obssesion with pornography and he began to push ideas on me that I wanted no part of. "No" was not an acceptable answer and he would just keep pushing and pushing to get what he wanted. He started to become almost an exhibitionist of sorts. And then there was the urinating wherever he felt the urge. It didn't seem to matter where he was or who saw even if he was 20 steps to the washroom. He started to get sneaky and things he was telling me didn't add up until one day he came home and threw some pills on the coffee table and said I had to take these, very coldly and matter of fact like. Turns out he had been picking up prostitues off the street in his semi while working. He carried on like it was no big deal and he said he was going to do whatever he wanted. This is when I gave him the ultimatum that he had to get some help or I was leaving. He said he would but then backed out of that. This was the ultimate betrayal for me and I finally did leave him.

After I left he really seemed to spiral out of control. He was fired from his job of ten years and was pretty vague about why. He had an accident with his pick up truck. Then he got caught drunk driving and his motorcycle was imponded and he lost his liscence. Again he carries on like it is no big deal. He is now out of money and is just about at the point of being homeless.

Even though I no longer live with him I keep in contact and try to make sure he is ok. I know he isn't but he will never admit it. He still believes he is being poisoned and persecuted.

He still calls me out of the blue and asks me bizarre questions or makes odd statements. He asks me over and over why I left him and I have to keep telling him why. It is like he can't remember. We will make some plans and then he forgets by the next day. Now I have been noticing he is having facial tics along with the hand and finger movements. He has even stopped taking his thyroid medication telling me he doesn't need it.
I have been in contact with mental health about all this but basically my hands are tied and there is nothing I can do unless he is a threat to me or himself. He does have guns and has made statements about putting a bullet in his head.

Even with all of this there are times when he seems fine and he apologizes for the hurt he has caused me. I fully understand now that it is not him anymore, that the man I knew and loved is no longer there and that he really has no control over his odd behaviour. I just don't know where to go from here and how to get him the help he needs.

Wow - that is quite a story... unfortunately on this site almost everyone has had some form of it in their lives... I don't have advice for you but I want to thank you for sharing your story. I am currently divorcing my husband of 14 years who has HD. I know I have to do it for my sake and my kids but splitting with someone who is ill such a very difficult thing to do. I think I will go to the grave with tremendous guilt over this even though I have such an amazing support system that bolsters me and knows that I have to do this. You sound like a very very strong woman and I wish you lots of luck.

Welcome Dollyw. You have found a great place.

I read your post and wonder if there can be more than one issue going on. It's possible that there could be HD as well as other issues. I wouldn't box myself in to "just" HD.

Mike

Yes I have wondered this myself because of so many undiagnosed illnesses in our previous generations and relying soley on stories of crazy relatives I think possibly he has been delivered a double whammy of sorts. I am on constant quest for some type of answers but as long as there is so much denial it is next to impossible to get any "confirmed" diagnosis! It's very hard to talk to most people about these issues, they just don't understand.
Now I have offered him to come and stay with me because of his impending homelessness and lack of resources. I know in my heart it is the right thing to do for him, but wonder if I have the strength to deal with him full on on a daily basis.