Again, I'm so sorry you're going through all this! It's so difficult. I wish I had some advice for you. I remember feeling at a loss for a long time, feeling like there was nowhere to turn for help. I tried multiple agencies for assisted living, looked into nursing home placement earlier and even tried to have Ray in his own apartment for awhile (but I was there all the time) and there didn't seem to be a lot of resources to help him or us at the time. Don't give up, though, keep trying to get the help your husband and family need. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

As an accountant and I have put my mom in the NH - whatever funds your husband has in his 401k will be used for the NH.
After those funds run out then you will apply to Medicaid on his behalf if no other savings, in his name, are available.

My mom was not violent and went smoothly in once we explained that we could no longer take care of her needs.

I liked the home, they did a great job for over two years. It took a while for them to understand her needs but they did with our help.

Make the next move and help your family member and yourself.

Each State has different Medicaid laws and each state will let you retain different amounts of $$. You need to have a free consult with a Medicaid lawyer in your state.

Danne.
So sorry you are going through this. I've been there and it was a very rough ride for a few years. I also had to endure outbursts of aggression and battery from my husband. This was before his diagnosis, so we did not know what was up. The police was my best defense, any time 911 was called, I was able to get a restraining order from him. If you feel threatened, you can have him barred from your home, away from you and your kids, any of your family, also including your father's home and kids school. he can be granted only supervised visitation with his child(ren). and that can be either court supervised, or by a person of your choice.

Sadly, given the HD, he may or may not abide by the order, which would put him at risk for arrest. My husband said he would come and go as he pleased, but the police caught him one day and landed him in jail.

In the end, the only thing that stabilized him was having him committed to a psych facility. he was in there for a year, stabilized and went to a group home.

I brought him back home with us about 2 years ago. he has been stable, not aggressive, and compliant with his meds. there are some times when I walk on eggshells, but they are less often and less enduring. I can't say if that is due to a different stage of the disease, or lessons learned, whatever the reason, I am grateful. I think the stage your's is in, is the most difficult. the symptoms are bad enough that he is not functioning well in society, but his awareness is profoundly limited, making him deny deny deny any wrongdoing.

Good luck with this stage. There is a light and I hope you can find it for your family.

Take care,
Patty

formerly hoping4acure, new email, new ID.