I'm know I'm largely a lurker around here, so a quick synopsis on me: I'm 33, Dad had HD, dad and I have been estranged for many years, even before onset, we still don't talk today.

For the past five years, my dad has been involved with a woman. I don't know if they are married or just common law, but it doesn't matter. This woman has been known to my family for many, many years (before I was born) and she is really screwed up. I don't mean a little messed up like we all claim to be, I'm talking severly messed up in the head. Frightenlingly so. She is infamous for her anger and tantrums.

Anyway, my dad and I have always been strained but when she came into the picture in 2007, I cut off all contact with my father and made it known there would be no contact as long as she was in the picture because I could not put up with a minimum of 10 harrassing, profanity and hate-filled voice mails a day. She wants me to talk to my father and, in fairness, she convinced me to talk to him once, which at the time was the first contact he and I had in almost a year. But, when I went a couple of weeks without calling back (while I was dealing with college finals, a new job, planning a wedding and buying a house, mind you), she would call at all hours of the day cursing me, my mother, my wife (then fiance) and anyone else who would come to mind, all in an effort to get me to make up with my father. (yeah, like that's the best way to go about it, huh?)

In the past, she's called my mother-in-law to go on her rants

She largely disapeared for a while but this week she has started doing it again. Except, this time, she's calling my mom and my work. She called my mother-in-law on Tuesday but my wife happened to be there and answered the phone. Upon being told that she was the reason dad and I hadn't talked in five years (which isn't entirely accurate - he came to my daughter's Christening in 2009 and was invited over for New Years Eve, as long as she didn't come. He declined - angrily. That was pre-official diagnosis but I already knew by that point he had it. It was obvious) she went on a horrible rant, wishing ill on my kids. I actually consider that a threat because she's crazy, not stupid, and she has always only threatened physical violence in person, never over the phone.

She once forced her way into my grandmother's house (my mother's mother) and forced her to talk to my father on the phone in an effort to convince her to convince me to talk to him. And now I'm worried about her doing this again at my house or my mother-in-law's when the kids are present. This woman is the type to harm my children to get to me. I'm also worried the harrassing calls to my workplace are going to create backlash on me.

I went to the police today and they told me there was nothing they could until she talks to me directly. As is, she others have to press charges, and my grandmother is too scared to do so. My mother-in-law doesn't want to bother with it because she doesn't like drawing controversy (an old habit from being married to a politician and working on campaigns herself)

It's so frustrating because I feel so helpless. Innocent people are being harrassed because she's upset with me and my two innocent little babies are having ill thoughts said about them. It took me a long, long time to come to grips with my own at-risk status (some would argue I really haven't really fully come to grips yet).

I hate the fact she has to escalate it before the police will do anything to protect us. I just simply hate all of this. My father is on probation, too, because of incidents stemming from his health so I could put him in a bad spot if his an accomplise in all this but I think he's probably a victim in this, too. He doesn't need to be with her, he needs to be in a nursing home, or at least living in a stable home, like my aunt's, where he'd be surrounded by love and, to be frank, calmness. (This aunt was always able to calm down her HD sister whenever she'd throw a fit). He needs to live his last few years in peace.

Rant over

What an awful situation! I am wondering if there's some way that you could get a restraining order prohibiting her from contacting you and your family? I would call Family Court and ask if you can get some kind of no contact order. I would explain that your father's girlfriend is angry about the estrangement and is calling you at work and home and also calling your wife, grandmother, and mother in law and you would like it to stop before you get fired for all the calls and before she works herself into doing something illegal as indicated by the things she has said about the children.

Tough situation. My only suggestion would be to hire a private investigator type to try to intimidate her with threats of police action.

Will

I SOOO agree about the restraining order. This is just terrible.

Is there any HD in her family? Psychosis?

mrspatwolf Wrote:
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> Is there any HD in her family? Psychosis?


HD, no (at least, I have no reason to suspect) but mental illness, yes. She's also inbred (not kidding) and has a long history of prescription drug abuse. In fact, part of me thinks that might. Past suicide attempts. Threatened her now-deceased husband she'd kill him if he ever left her.

If you want me to go all country music song on you, her mom was once, years ago, (early 70s) married to my uncle, my dad's brother. Years later, she married my cousin (on my mother's side, the one now deceased). Now she's with my dad.... that's screwed up enough, don't even have to throw in HD.

Marsha Wrote:
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> What an awful situation! I am wondering if
> there's some way that you could get a restraining
> order prohibiting her from contacting you and your
> family? I would call Family Court and ask if you
> can get some kind of no contact order. I would
> explain that your father's girlfriend is angry
> about the estrangement and is calling you at work
> and home and also calling your wife, grandmother,
> and mother in law and you would like it to stop
> before you get fired for all the calls and before
> she works herself into doing something illegal as
> indicated by the things she has said about the
> children.

I can't get a no-contact order until she actually speaks to me directly.

best advice is to keep a notebook of all contacts from her, time of day, duration, short note on what is said. You can go to google voice or phone (I can't remember right now) and get a voicemail that will record everything that is left on voicemail and it also makes a text copy and an audio copy and sends it to your email. also, call the police and tell them you want to report harrassing phone calls. Every single time she calls. It is not a restraining order but there will be official notes that will help when you can get a restraining order. Also, a restraining order is only good if both people agree to follow it. She doesn't sound like one who would respect it. Good luck.