Hi,
I just wanted you to know that if your mother has HD, then you are automatically put in th 50-50 risk category. As time passes, that chance diminishes slightly.
Don't count on your mother's CAG count to help predict onset probability. There is tremendous variability in even one family. There surely is in my family. Ages of onset -70-60-42...and we still wait for the others to see what happens.
When I was obsessing with HD, shortly after both my sister and mother tested positive (within days of each other), I began to experience eye twitching, arm twitching, etc.. Nothing I did would make that twitching go away! I would rub the area thinking that would help, but it didn't. I also began to have temper outbursts. I also began to step on the gas pedal and let off and step on and let off, just like I remember both my mom and grandmother doing when they drove. Oh yes... I noticed HD symptoms in one of my sons, too, and you know that means I surely had it, too. I thought of little else.
Well, I finally was tested and..guess what? Negative. Immediately after that most of my "symptoms" disappeared.
There is no way to know if you have HD, especially if the symptoms you're having are very subtle. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure or until your symptoms are overt and obvious. The 50% chance of being positive must be weighed against the very real 50% chance of being negative.
Living with HD in the family is stressful, but being tested is even more so. Don't rush into it. Give yourself time to think out the future for your life either way. Go through the proper testing protocol.
Try not to let fear of the future rob your present. HD progresses fairly slowly. Chances are, if you have it, you will be much the same 6 months from today as you are today.
I have to admit, even now, I find myself wondering....could that lapse in memory be HD? Why was I so clumsy with those dishes? Did they make a mistake when they tested me? Old habits...
I can't help with the job decision. It's a tough call. I wish you the best, whatever you decide.
salt