I have been dating my bf for about 4 months now. He told me he had HD pretty early on in the relationship. I had never heard of the disease so I didn't think much about it. Then he told me one day shortly after that he will eventually die from this disease. And that his ex wife left him bc she couldn't handle it. At that point I Googled HD and burst into tears as I read more about this awful disease. I knew this would not change the way I felt about him and I told him I wasn't going anywhere. This is where I should have read as much as I could on the disease and what to expect. Bc now here we are four almost five months into the relationship and I am having second thoughts about everything. His behavior is changing and I am not use to it. And now I am questioning if I can really handle all of this. I cry all the time when I think about HD or watch a video about HD. I am scared of what my future may hold now. I am young and want to get married and have another child ( I have two from a previous relationship) but now that is all up in the air bc of HD. I feel horrible even thinking about leaving him bc that is exactly what his ex wife did. I've tried taking things one day at a time but its so hard bc I am a planner and I can't plan my life with this man. I think about HD all the time and when I look at him and know what is to come it really makes me want to run the other direction.

Welcome.

It's not your fault all this has happened and his ex left him.I've no doubt you have feelings for him but you really haven't been seeing him all that long to devote your life to him,with or without HD.Some ladies have been with their man for years before HD reared it's ugly head and it's still an ongoing battle to keep going each day I guess.

This is early days and HD is making you misserable already.You need to be honest with yourself first,you sound like you want to end it.That doesn't make you a bad person, your human and scared plus you have your children to think of to and the effect this will have on them.

It was very brave and honest of him to tell you about HD so early,but with that he should also expect you to be honest back,even now.I know you will feel guilty,that's human nature,but guilt doesn't make a loving relationship.Good luck xxx

Welcome to the forum. I'm taking a deep breath...

I have so many mixed emotions around this because my son's wife knew about HD before they married, thought she could handle it, but the reality of it was something she could not face. She divorced him after he became symptomatic. He struggled with her decision and felt abandoned and betrayed.
I often think, I wish she would have walked out before the marriage, but then I think that even though she left, we still had, and he still had, good and happy times with her. They were in love but it could not prevent the break up. The pain for him and our family has been very deep. I also think his ex wife has not lived without the pain of her decision. She was young, wanted a baby and a life, it wasn't what she had signed up for.
So, search your heart and try to be honest about your ability to hang on when the going gets tough...and the going will get tough.
I agree with Blondie that your children are a huge factor in this decision. Also, you are in the very early stages of this relationship, a point where many relationships don't make it for whatever reason.
Take care,

Carla

Your post strikes close to home. I married my husband knowing he was at risk. we were completely in denial and have 2 at-risk children. we are now getting a divorce at my request. He also has issues with alcohol and has turned completely inward and unable to communicate. He is very early in his symptoms but who knows how different his personality would be without the HD. I feel horrible - beyond horrible - but I have been so unhappy for so long. think long and hard and learn everything that you can. good luck - it is an awful disease... there is hope for treatment but nothing is certain.

We all have had different experiences wth this disease. Unbelievable ups and downs. I think that it is almost impossible for a woman with two children looking for a new relationship to walk into this disease knowing what the outcome will probably be.
On the other hand some of us have managed OK despite the pain and terrible suffering. But mostly these are people who had much more time to assimilate all the challenges. I think in your situation it might be better to allow him the opportunity to find someone else. Don't feel guilty it is the best for both of you.

I have questioned it to...but everytime I really think of leaving... I just can't. I guess it was just not in me because I loved my husband so much.

Much of my fears were from information overload and watching too many videos about HD. I guess I was so blinded before because I didn't really know what HD was too. I knew his grandmother had it...but she didn't seem to be too bad and passed away later in life 70's I believe. I knew his father has it..but didn't show major symptoms...untill recently ( he lives with us). In all my exposure to the diesase was...it was not that bad--they are older and had a chance to live etc......THEN

I googled it and read and saw everything you saw and I was overwhelmed... my case is slightly different because I knew my father in law was sick and my husband's grandma had the same illness that she passed away from...but we didn't know what that illness was until my husband and I were engaged- when I googled it.

I knew there was something... and when we broke up about a year before getting engaged, I had my chance to leave. Even when reconciling...it crossed my mind... this is my chance to leave this illness- if I just don't get back with him and stay broken up. I decided against it....I guess it was just not in my heart to be with out my boyfriend at the time...then we became engaged. Everything has been very rough--but I am a much stronger person now--it did break me and tear me up- but I have recovered and appreciate life much more than I ever would have.

I don't know what to tell you other than communicate with him... I am sure he will understand because it is not easy (now we are going through with how to proceed with kids--my husband has not been tested..but we are in the process- this is not easy at all). And if in your heart---you really do think about leaving--or if you really do "take a break" and you just can't be without him---then maybe it will be in your heart and you will "just know." Also there is no shame in leaving and being honest--the relationship is still early-- in fact it is better for the relationship to be honest and let him move on if needed.


Best Wishes.