Huntington's runs in my husbands family. Nobody talked about it. It wasn't until our first child was born that someone in the family informed my mom, that Hd runs in the family.
My husbands grandma had it, cousins have it, and his mom has it. But, when we want to talk to any of them they shut down. In the last four years my husband has been drinking the last two years he hit bottom and drank 24/7. I blamed all the mistakes he made, like not getting the taxes done, loosing contracts to grow sweet corn for green giant, and loosing alot of money on the farm market on his drinking. He has been sober the last year, but still he can't make any decisions. Once again our taxes are not done, and when I ask him when he is going to start working on them he says " I can only do one thing at a time."
He is always angry at me and our daughter, but never our oldest son. He will not go out in public, he blames me. Says I am an embarrassment in public.He can't sit still, and he says his body hurts all the time.
I have been researching Huntington and alot of the symptoms fit him, like anti social, moody.
Going to al anon helped me in the beginning with the symptoms of his alcoholism, but now they say he is just being selfish and I should leave him. I am 99% sure I am dealing with HD.
Just wanted to ask some else who has dealt with this disease, is it alcoholism or Hd. I know it he drinking 24 cans of beer has done alot of damage to his brain, but I have family members who are recovering alcoholic, and they seem to live a normal life.

It sounds like Huntington's Disease to me too. Can you get him to go to the doctor? If so maybe you can call in advance and tell him that you are seeing symptoms of the disease for which your husband is at 50 percent risk.

Lori,
Before my husband was diagnosed with hd he had a very addictive personality. Drinking & pain pills to excess. He never got into any street drugs but he took everything else to the extreme. Looking back now, the depression mixed with the booze and pills it was obviously early stage hd. I watched his personality change from the loving guy I married to a mean lying drunk. When the crap would hit the fan he would quit cold turkey with very few side effects. It was strange. He'd blame depression, get on some meds and be fine for a few months before the cycle started again.
My husbands hd has progressed to the point where I take care of 100% of everything. I'm essentially a single mom caring for a disabled adult. My husband can't do more then sit in front of the tv. He doesn't like to visit with people because he has trouble keeping up with the conversation. He can't concentrate on paperwork or even the computer. He doesn't like to shower because he falls. The list goes on and as time goes on all these things will fall on your shoulders if he is indeed showing symptoms of hd.
If you can't see yourself taking over as head of the house then you should consider your options. Some hd+ people can live a pretty normal life but for others the disease hits hard.

After his Dwi a year ago, he still will not go and try for a drivers licenses. He says he has to much going on. So he relies on me or our oldest son to drive him around. We have three kids, and I feel like I am a single parent. He use to go to school functions but in the last 10 years he refuses he says that people are looking at him. Al anon members tell me this his selfish side I don't know. He only takes a shower once a week if we are lucky,
he refuses to go to the doctor,
When I was pregnant with our second child I had to fill a questioner out and the number one question was does Huntington's run in the family I said yes I had my mother in law mad. I was not to say that word. Still am not. they are just sick.
I work in a nursing home, and I deal with all sorts of sickness but I can't deal with denial.
I have people say leave, but I never left my mom and she fought cancer, she didn't ask for that and my husband didn't ask for this I just have to get some answers.
Like , Does everyone with HD get this mad a their spouse? and children?
So they keep themselves cut of from people they used to enjoy like friends?
Does their body's always hurt where they don't want to get out of bed each morning?
Do they shut there loved ones off. I am a people person and having a hard time with him not going to birthday party's, graduation, confirmation, baptisms. T
When he drank himself into Icu I asked the doctor to test him she wouldn't said he was just depressed. Where can I go for some answers ohter then angy family member?

It definitely sounds like HD. My husband was diagnosed 3 years ago and is now in a nursing home. He became angry and abusive. We also have 3 kids and it got to the point where I couldn't leave him alone with the kids. I don't think that I would push for him to get his license. My husband was having several accidents and I finally had to take his keys away. Unlike you, the past few years I would get really nervous if my husband wanted to go somewhere with me because he was almost always cause a scene. It's unfortunate that he is in a NH, but we have a lot more peace now.

One of the driving forces for my husband to get tested was the change in his behavior to me and our children. He was often short tempered and angry. This was not his norm. I finally told him that either he was a jerk (ok, I used stronger language, but don't want to offend), which I knew how to deal with, or he had HD. And for him to make me treat him like he was a jerk, instead of getting tested so we could maybe find some help was unfair and made me very sad. It seemed to get through. He still seems to get angrier at one of my children more than the others. He complains a lot of aches and pains in the morning, which I think is from the repeated twitching. But the most striking similarities seem to be with the friendships. He maintains some, but there are others that he just lets go. He gets offended by little things and refuses to make any further contact. I'm sorry that you are going through this, and that his family is not being supportive. We live in a rural area, and they just called it "nerves". It was a relief for us to get a diagnosis. We've gotten good advice from our doctors and our situation has improved very much since our prior non diagnosis days. I hope the same happens for you.

Hi Lori, i'm so sorry everything you are going through. I noticed you said he will not go to the doctor. I think maybe you need to stress to him that he needs to go, and you go with him. I'm in the very early stages of hd myself, and yes, what you are asking about pain is Very true. I would wake up each morning in very severe pain, every muscle in my body would hurt. The doctors think i was having muscle twitches during my sleep, all night long, that would make me wake up very exhausted, and in a lot of pain. I also became quite anti-social. I was put in seroquel, which is a mood stabilizer. My depression and mood swings were better, but more amazing than that, i was sleeping good, and not waking up in any more pain. Apparently seroquel and other mood stabilizers too, have something in them that also help improve muscle function. I would try and insist that for the sake of your marriage, he has to go to the doctor. Make the appointment yourself, and say this is what's happening, no questions about it. I hope this helps

Hi Lori - I am sorry for all that you have to deal with and the denial on the part of his family just adds to the problems. My husband went through something similar in terms of the alcoholism - he has since stopped drinking and has been diagnosed with HD but for a long time everything was all jumbled up - what is due to the drinking, what is HD, what is him just being a jerk. For me it took a long time and lots of reading and educating myself to see what is the HD (this forum has been instrumental in learning that). When I speak to family and friends about it I often get the feeling that they think I am in denial and just letting him "get away" with bad behavior (for lack of a better description). Much of what you describe sounds like HD but I agree with Barb, you need to get him to a doc.

For us the drinking was the deal breaker- if he didn't get sober I refused to stay together - that is just too much to ask of someone. But if he gets the drinking under control, which he has, I will take care of him and the family. He is early stages and still able to do just a lot but I take care of most things in our lives.

I have asked him to go seek medical attention. His answer is, the doctor will tell me I have cancer so shot me. He doesn't want to hear or except that this runs in the family.
In recent weeks I have noticed twitching in his arms and fingers. And when we go somewhere in the car he is like in fetal position. He reminds me of his grandma. I have not been able to sit at table with him because of how he chews his food. I feel bad but can not handle the sound.
After finding this web site and talking with other I have found some peace.
Only positive thing I can say I openly discuss this disease with my kids.
I thank all you for listening, your feed back has helped. I am no so angry at him and can honestly say he is sick.
I know that alcoholism is a sickness but certain things he does, does not make any sense.Thanks

lori R. Wrote:
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> I have not been able to sit at table
> with him because of how he chews his food. I feel
> bad but can not handle the sound.

???

Do all the research you can and get to a doctor who really understands HD. They are few and far between but the ones who do get this behavior will be your saving grace. Some PHD in early stages refuse, or are just to apathectic to get help which is a sympton of the disease. By the time you are able to get a diagnose from some doctors the phd has wrecked havoc from family life.
Important to remember that the fact that the phd does not want to get help dies not mean that they don't need help. Don't take no for an answer. Keep at tit.

How do the kids feel about it?

last year he drank himself into the Icu and at that time I requested that he be tested and everyone refused to listen to me. His mom was a nurse and she looked at me and told me to mind my own business,.

Our oldest (20) sees it but, doesn't want to talk about it. He is the one that has to help make most of the farming choices my husband relies on him all the time. way to much on him.
15 year old thinks her dad hates her because he is always angry with her. I think this is because she is a girl and he puts her in the group of women that has controlled his life like his mom and sister
7 year old doesn't think much because they have never had a relationship. When he was a baby he would never let his dad hold him. the other to would sleep on his chest when it was nap time but never this one. He also never let grandma (husband mom) hold him he would cry and cry. Looking back I think he could feel the muscle tremor.
We take one day at the time. and I talk openly to them about it. NOt like my husband family that pushed it under a rug and acted like no one has it.

I can understand why they ignore it. It's pretty clear, it keeps them sane and keeps them from dwelling on it.

Out of sight, out of mind. They know if they have it, it's the end of life as they know it. All hopes of living a normal life are over and it's HD HD HD HD from then on.

I can see why people do it. I don't have it and wish I could do that too.