(I posted it somewhere else, but I decided to open a new topic.)

Hi, everyone!

I'm new here - was just searching for any help I could get on the internet and I found your forum. smiling smiley I'm from Slovenia and we don't have any similar support group/forum, so I hope you don't mind me being here. smiling smiley (and I'm sorry for my english smiling smiley)

My mum is HD (her father died of HD, and my uncle (her brother) just died of it one month ago at age 49). I just had an argument with her on the telephone about her driving around. She is not driving safely and is in danger every time she is on the road. We are all telling her that it's for her own safety that we don't allow her driving, but she keeps saying that if she don't drive she looses her freedom, that we are too protective and that the best thing for her than is to lock her in a cage.

Now, I know it's part of HD - the denial - but I don't know how to cope with it. How to convince her that we are not the enemies and make her accept that she is no longer capable of driving.

I would be very grateful for any advise you can give me.

Thank you so much!!!

Welcome to the forum.

I think my mom was stubborn about driving, too. Just take her keys away. We told my mom that one of the family would always drive her wherever she needed to go.

Welcome. We knew the local police department and they took my brother's keys. They told him that he had to give them his keys and license or go to jail and he gave them hiskeys and license. This was thirty years ago.

I had to "take the keys" amidst the same argument. It's a very valid argument too.

The way I overcame it was to promise my wife that there would be no restrictions on her freedom, and that I would carry her anywhere she needed to go.

I also told her that the worst part of her driving was not that she would be hurt. It would be that she hurt someone else, and if they ever found out about the HD, the family would sue and we would be wiped out. I also reminded her of some old news about children hurt by people that had trouble driving, and how she had went on and on about how this person shouldn't drive. I reminded her that hurting someone else is a horrible thing.

It worked.

Thank you, everyone! We had a family meeting yesterday about her driving. She is still in denial, thinking that she is doing great. We were honest and told her that we don't allow her to drive anymore and that we will be driving her around everywhere she wants. We pointed out several times that we are on the same side and that we are just worried about her and others on the road. At the end she wasn't happy, but I guess it will take some time. It's so hard when you see your mother being so sad and irrational. Well I guess it gets better with the time.

Thank you very much!

Love,
Ana

It is a very difficult thing. We had to hids all the keys. My husband used to do almost all of the driving. Even now, even though he is in a Nursing home he still thinks he can drive. He told me that he wanted to drive our 5 year old to soccer practice.

It is a very difficult thing. We had to hids all the keys. My husband used to do almost all of the driving. Even now, even though he is in a Nursing home he still thinks he can drive. He told me that he wanted to drive our 5 year old to soccer practice.

I would let her know if she needs or wants to go somewhere that you or whoever will be there to take her.
I would sympathize with her that you understand how she feels about it taking her freedom away, HOWEVER, let her know that she
would never want to take someone's life especially that of a child if she were to cause an accident. That might make her think.
If all that does not work if she goes to the dr you could talk to the dr ahead of her visit informing him/her of her driving and the dr could
talk to her and get the license taken away.
Last resort but if nothing else works you could talk to local law enforcement and let them know of the situation. They could pull her over
and pull her license/keys.
It is hard but it would be worse if she caused an accident that involved injury or death.
Good luck.

im just starting to have that worry, and dont know how to put it to my hubby, i know his reactions are not as quick as they used to be and im really worried about him driving, he has not driven for about a year,as the car needed stuff done to it to get it road worthy. I have the money now to do it, and my hubby is very keen to get on the road,and i dont know how to tell him im not happy..... he is in his third year off showing symptoms, and not a quick acting as before. He was a very good driver and was an on the road serviceman...... the last time he drove we had a small accident and even then I could tell his reflexes where not a quick as they used to be hes never had an accident before this one.

kellie