I have lost my girlfriend the one person I loved more than anything due to the anger that just won't go away. I was never angry before all they symptoms started getting worse.

I just couldn't handle it anymore and i took over a hundred sleeping pills to end this constant pain. And what should of been sweet relief was stopped by Drs and Nurses who saved me just to send me back to a world of pain, sadness, anger, hurt, abandonment.

I wish just for one day she could feel this pain and anger that I can't control. I show her over and over that its HD related and tells me you can control your anger its not related to HD. Who made her the expert. If you say you love me y push me away. I hate this disease. I hate this life

Kevin --

I'm so sorry this is happening.


There is so much to be angry about with this disease. I've read a lot on these boards about various psych meds being extremely helpful in dealing with the depression and the anger -- to the point where spouses who needed to be hospitalized were able to stay home -- it could make the difference with your girlfriend. Even if it doesn't, you deserve to feel as good as you can for as long as you can.

Peace,
M

Keving,
I'm so sorry for your pain and anger. It definitely has to be incredibly difficult for you. Are you getting help from any doctors? Do you have a neurologist that you see on a regular basis? Please, please try to get help. I think it can be a little more manageable if you seek out help and go on some medications that may help the anger and depression, etc. Sometimes it's not enough to blame it on the HD; sometimes, you have to really work to show that you're trying to get help and manage the disease as best as possible, although I realize that is easier said than done. Best wishes to you.
Michelle

Keving-

I am so sorry for what you have been going through. As has been said there are medications that can help behaviors beyond your control
and make your life so much better. Your girlfriend could get information on the internet about some of the possible symptoms but if your
anger is uncontrollable she, understandably, wouldn't want to be around it. BUT, you can change those behaviors through medication and ask
if she can help you through this - find a good psychiatrist that will prescribe those medications, etc. Even if she isn't able to go with you to
the dr, etc. do it on your own. You will feel better and people will want to be around you and you will enjoy life.

I would think the dr might prescribe an antidepressant and/or a medication such as zyprexa which has helped many.

Good luck Keving. There is hope.

I believe it is possible to choose responses even with HD. My mother was very difficult, and before I had children I vowed they would never experience my anger as a helpless victim. It wasn't until I read the book Sybil that I realized he violence of my childhood could just as easily made me skhiz.
Most of my friends were not beaten as much as me but far more kids had drunk louts and the application of a belt, or thew board of education. This was also normal in private schools.
My generation of HD had no choice but to hide the disease and work as long as possible. My children were the first generation to a definitive test which I prayed for .

So stop feeling sorry for yourself an assuming that you have HD and have a right to a bad temper.

What the docs did not learn was how early depression starts, and you have a right to be happy, so take some antidepressants and practice good manners to control your temper. The people who do best with HD have many thing to do to burn off the energy.

Dusty you made me smile!! You sound like me (Buck-up as my grandmother would say) My generation grew up with a lot of disipline (in my sixties) we were punished for everything & it was usually physical. I think the people of today need to find a place between where they are & where we were. They blame everything wrong with them on everyone & everything from their past or situation. It's time we stand up & take responsibility for things we do. I realize HD makes it harder & that eventually the disease controls everything but while a person has some say in what is going on . STAND UP FIGHT. I don't think this person is ready to die otherwise they would have made sure they wouldn't have been found they needed to express their feelings & be heard. I hear you I understand what is going on but as a caregiver I say fight the good fight. My husband is Not fighting & it is so unbelievably awful to watch his decline he was always a fighter. My fighter has gone. So please fight for us all who need someone to encourage & cheer for I'll be in your corner.

F Off both of you. I would like to punch you in the face. Everyone else thanks for the advise.

You are out of line, Kevin. Is that how you talked to your girlfriend?

No I save that for jerks

If Dusty and Lucy and I are jerks then perhaps this isn't the place for you. You have already said your anger is out of control. I can see that. I am sorry you have HD. So does Dusty, so does Barb, so do others here. Not one of them has ever expressed the desire to punch someone in the face on this board even when they disagree with the advice or comments. If that's how you feel, then you take medication until you aren't overwhelmed by anger. If that doesn't work, you go back to the doctor and tell him or her and get a medication increase or change until something works. You do not get a free pass, you do not get to manipulate people into staying with you and accepting the unacceptable because of your disease. That's it, that's the house viewpoint here.

Hey bud, you can't be disrespectful here... you don't even know if you have HD and Dusty does... she's not a jerk. HD is not a free pass to be abusive. In the home or on this forum. Reign it in or find something else to ,o until you can. I suggest that further abusive posts be deleted until you participate correctly.

I do have it i have a 47 cag count and symptoms for 4 years.

They were disrespectful first. And if this is the way people here help then
I want nothing to do with your forums. Ill find some advise from people who have some intelligence.

They were not in the least disrespectful.

If that's how you want treat people then yes, find a place where they enjoy name calling, if you can. Or you can take an opinion of a person for what it's worth and use or ignore it. Name calling to a person who has spent her adult life trying to help others like dusty has on this forum and elsewhere will always be unacceptable. Threatening to leave is a manipulation and is not something we fall for here either.

Telling someone to buck up instead of a good coarse of action isn't helpful.

Wow I guess I'll just go to Dr and get a prescription for Buck Up since that is the wonderful
suggestion. Telling someone to buck up is an insult.

Kevin,

I truly didn't mean to offend. This has been a sad& bad day for me. My husband who is not fighting got his results today & wouldn't let me go with him. He is not fighting, HE is blaming his father for leaving when he was young & me for just about everything else. I have done nothing but be in his corner. I guess I was expressing to you the things I wish I could express to him but can't because he would be verbally abusive & physically abusive to objects (furniture) I really was trying to say if you try to remember those around you love & care for you in your time of need. They will be there for you I would be there for you with an encouraging word.

From my story I have told my husband I feel like a puppy,when he (husband)has a bad day, doesn't sleep or a body part hurts he becomes verbally abusive and rages at me. Then like a puppy who has been kicked I go running back like a puppy with my tail wagging saying love me, love me. But it is getting harder to be that puppy and closer to the puppy running away. So if you have a bad day tell the one you love that & say you need a hug &/or a kiss. Don't scream at them because they stopped to pick up your favorite milk shake & the chocolate doesn't taste right. Like I told the ice cream person to give him nasty chocolate.

Again I apologize I would never want to intentionally hurt anyone. I wanted to let you know I was in your corner. The beginning comments were more for Dusty & maybe our similar age. I truly hope you didn't want to die but wanted someone to say they care. AND I DO...

No it's not.. it's course of action... which you can choose to not put into action. It's something she personally has done.. had you cared enough to ask about it. That was her action in dealing with HD. And her husband is still there. She understands the deficits she has with HD. she is more progressed than you and walked 100 miles in your shoes already. You want empathy, try showing some.

Not really. What's the other option? Give in?

Staying upbeat and active is really the only positive therapy there is. In the many years I've been on the forum, and in my personal experience with my wife, the single best thing anyone can do is stay active as much as possible.

To do that, you have to stay upbeat, or in the very least, avoid letting yourself get depressed. And the best way to do that is to focus all of that energy into a drive to stay alive.

All Dusty and Lucy were doing was suggesting to help you, take some medication as directed and keep yourself focused on keeping active both physically and mentally. Feeling sorry for yourself is natural, but it's not going to get you better. The only thing that will is keep moving and thinking.

an old quote from my school days, when one finger is pointed at me, three are pointed back at you.
Having just gone through the same problems,m I can tell that if you answered the question about hurting yourself honestly then in Most places you either go into the nut house for 3 days or get moved to the top of the waiting list for outpatient mental health. If you lied to them then you have no right to blow off here.

All of us have HD or are caretakers.

I don't usually answer new people here because you have no idea of the battle I have. New people often are angry and take it on the the people who have HD.

However I have just slit my wrist with a big bread knife, and have been through the suicide process. I have a psychiatric nurse from the dementia program now that I am over 60. Before that I had a psychiatric nurse to talk about depression added to situational depression. My husband is bi polar and I am his caregiver. The psychiatric nurse got me an appointment with a shrink who was only going to tell them whether I would cut the other wrist or not. I am waiting for a referral at the COE in London who now has a shrink.

It is one the bizarre things that going through the emerg progress, the ER shrink cannot write a prescription so all you do is waste time, but you do get on the list .

I was committed for over 5 days.

I have been through more battle then any of you could ever imagine. I was beat
by a HD father within inches of my life over and over. Until one night he shot my
mother right in the face sitting right next to me. Attempted to kill me and my sister
but couldn't go through with it. Put the shotgun in his mouth and killed himself right
in front of us. I have taken care of all my HD relatives fed them shaved them cared
for them. At 9 years old I drove a bike across town to take my gpa to bathroom and
blend his food. At 21 - 30 had no life to take care of aunt through hd and cancer.

I wasn't here for sympathy I was looking for what kind of meds to be on. Unlike other
people I get 300 a month disability. I can't even see the dr in Denver cause I can't afford
that either.