First off, I am sorry- Many of you gave me excellent support and advice many months ago when I posted here for advice on going forward in a relationship with my bf who is at-risk. I received so many messages from some of the nicest, most helpful people I've ever come across. I sent my thanks back then. Then I disappeared. Life got in the way, I tried to put the HD risk out of my mind the best I could. I went through everything from why him -- the nicest guy I've ever met, to why me- I finally met a truly nice guy and now he might not be able to commit because of this??
( I am pathetically too good at self-pity).

So, life went on. My bf and I went to counseling sessions at one of the top rated HD treatment hospitals. Did it help us decide if he should test or not? Not at all. He (and myself) left each session just as confused as we walked in. I wanted to forget about it and put entirely out of mind. One thing I love about this board is you all are so real. Nobody sugarcoats. The appointments were very tough. We saw one girl walk out surrounded by her family crying (we realized later they were cries of joy- she was negative), and left to a woman hysterically shouting, and doctors had to intervene. I'm not the strongest type, so emotionally it was too tough to deal with. So again, I pushed the HD thoughts out of my mind. Later I realized I don't think my bf truly wants to test. Perhaps he is not ready. and it has to be his choice, not mine.
In the counseling session, I told the social worker I would not marry him if he tested positive. I was brutally honest, and said I will help him in a friend in any way I could, but the marriage thing was too scary. That week a friend asked me why I haven't gotten married to my bf by now. I couldn't tell her the HD risk and silently wished it didn't exist so I could just marry him.

Fast forward many months. I've gone through something horrible. Not one friend of mine has truly been there for me but my bf has. Every minute, of every day to get me through. Any ex boyfriend I had would have ran for the hills a long time ago. Time and hardships have proved I have the best hearted, most loyal guy I have ever met and will ever meet.

I'm off of work now, and had some time to finally re-visit this board. So many great people on here with great personalities- I was wondering how Will, Eric, Smiling Sara, Barb and so many others are doing. What I came across was a message on dating. And what it caused me to do is come to a decision with moving forward with my boyfriend. It's like Bridie was explaining exactly how I feel in my heart, and she advised the girl who posted her dating concern to follow her heart. So if it happens (IF he asks), I can't say I'll be married to him forever. But it's worth a shot. With getting long term planning in place, and knowing in your heart you are marrying the best person you have ever met or could ever hope to meet - What can be so wrong about that? Taking a shot. Going forward. Not letting the fear of the unknown prevent something that could be great.

If there is one thing I know, it is what Bridie said - we do meet people for certain reasons. You see, my boyfriend was too afraid to get involved with anybody the last 9 years since his mom came down with HD. He thought nobody would want him. This coming from a guy who has everything going for him. I, on the other hand, thought not one nice guy was left in this city of 8 million after 12 years of dating jerks.
I've always been a big believer in fate and fate sure took a hand in the unusual way I met my boyfriend 2 years ago this week.

So it was amazing coincidence I happened to sign on to see the 'dating' message Bridie wrote during this 2 year anniversary of meeting the tall, shy guy I hoped from the first date would last forever..

To Bridie- I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful husband and you are an inspiration how you took such good care of him and stayed together in a different sort of way than marriage.
And like Bridie said - she wouldn't have wanted to spend the last 20 years with anyone else but her beloved husband.
I have now clearly seen I don't want to spend the next 20 years with anyone but my special boyfriend.

Thank you...to all.

I wish you great happiness! Thank you for letting us know about your decision.

You know, it sounds like you've really taken your time to work through your feelings. I'm so glad you were able to do that, and glad to see you again

You wrote a beautiful note and I wish you guys a lot of happiness together... as you see my name is hope also... even if your bf is HD+ he is pre-symptomatic now so it is very likely that he has many healthy years ahead of him - and during those years treatments and possibly a cure will emerge... you never know what the future will bring!

Thanks for the kind words and best to you both.

Wow, how beautiful. I'm so glad your heart brought you in this direction.

So, are you going to just wait & see if he asks, even though it sounds like you've said you don't want to marry him before?
Or are you going to give him any gentle nudge/hint?

The romantics here can't wait to hear how this goes....

Always,

I'm doing fine - still symptom free at age 64 plus. In fact, I filed my application for Medicare this week to take effect on August 1st. I'm not sure what kind of smiley that deserves, so I'll add nothing.

Follow your heart. Some years ago I was in the process of ending an unsatisfactory marriage. A young Southern Belle was in the process of doing the same. We happened to be at the same beach bar in North Carolina at the same time with friends. My friends asked the ladies if they would like to dance. They smiled and agreed. There was a height mismatch with two couples, so we changed partners. 30 years later Debbie and I are still partners, We followed our hearts and it worked just fine.

Will

All human life has value no matter what has been written in to our genes. An old lady who lived a full life, always with a smile on her face, never complaining, always embracing the day has impacted my life like no other. A woman with Huntingtons, a woman I loved before the disease and a woman I continued to love and respect even more as the years followed through her jorney of life. I proudly call this woman my grandmother. .... and though it wasn't easy to watch her decline..... she taught me more about life than anyone will. Diagnoised in her early fifties, she made it to her 85 th birthday, outliving all my other grandparents.

What a great post. The best thing about it isn't that you've decided to give the relationship a go. No, the best thing about what you've written is that it shows that you've not taken your decision lightly and you've put some time and effort into working out the pros and cons of what might happen.

I wish you both the very best.

Very beautiful! I wish the very best to both of you!!

I wish you the best of luck and a wonderful life together. My husband (who now has HD) and I have been together 40+ years. Our lives
have changed somewhat but we still enjoy each other's company and sometimes we just watch television and hold hands. Nothing like it!
Knowing we don't have to do anything special to please each other and that we will be there for each other is such a quiet comfort. Do I wish
he didn't have HD - of course I do - but I wouldn't trade my life.