Hi, all, did you know I'd been missing? Probably not! But I am back with a question that is on the other end of the usual question of someone wondering if they should get involved with someone with HD or at risk. My question is about a widow such as myself, with some symptoms of HD, but still kind and relatively active. What do you think of such a person looking for someone to love? Would it be me putting someone into the trouble of their lives because I might become mean or crazy in a little while? Maybe I should find someone in his 70s so we both might die around the same time? haha. Just wondering what your opinion about a pHD wishing for love is.

Alice, you are a very special and kind person, and i think it would be great, if you could find someone just as caring as you are. I didnt realize you were missing, but now that you say it, where were you??? Sooooo, is there someone special that you're not telling us about?

As long as you are up front... really it's his decision. Someone picked me once so much stranger things have happened...

Alice! You found that kind of love before.............

To me, that makes you even more likely to do so, again!

jl

Hey Alice, I did notice a few weeks ago that you hadn`t been around but im much quieter around here these days

As for finding love or someone to spend your days/nights with, like Eric said as long as your up front about everything... for get a 70 year old... go for a toyboy!

Hope you have been well

Alice, good to see you. It's your life. Live it your way. You have a right to try to find love.

You are all very nice to me. However I wonder if you are telling the truth, considering what is written to those who write in and ask if they should commit to someone with HD. Interesting. That doesn't mean I want you to tell me no, though! Thanks you all.

Barb - I haven't been anywhere special, just had bad computer problems and depression as usual. Lou-- yes, where's my boytoy! funny...

I see your confusion Alice, if a particular person writes to find out what HD is I do tell them the truth. That's the up "front part". I do believe once they know, they can decide... I would have married T anyway myself. I know people who been married with one symptomatic. It's really not that far fetched ya know. There are lots of people suited to adversity and it really doesn't bother them or they even do better with it.

Alice - I am of the belief that anyone who has (or is at-risk for) HD should notify any potential "life partner", well prior to commitment.

I DO think that spouses/caregivers have the right to be informed as much as possible.

Because I think they have a right to be PREPARED, as much as possible.

jl

Yes, I see what you mean. Thanks for the thoughts.

Alice I have learned that I don't know for sure how I feel about this type of ? . There is something I might consider , if it was me . Would my HD get worse because of the good and bad stress , relationships have ? A new relationship I think would be especially hard . The give and the take ; his relatives and your relatives ; Money talks ; etc... There is no relationship that is perfect , but , when you have spent a lifetime with someone , you have worked out so many of the idiosyncrasies , it has become an easier less stresful life . Do you mind me asking , Do you think you could handle a relationship without it affecting your health ? All my best . db

Well, I have to say that db makes a good point!

One thing that HD can almost guarantee is change in personalitly. Invariably for the worse.......

ALICE... YOU ROCK!!!!!

that is the coolest question i've heard, since i've been
on this site....seriously cool...

girl if you feel up to sharing time with someone, and if
someone wants to share time with you, ENJOY!

I know you wont hold your health restrictions back, so that
means, its a decision made by two consenting adults, so
what could be better than that....cant wait to hear how it goes.

Thanks skmf! db, I know what you mean about stress in relationships. My marriage was very stressful due to his illness and got so bad in the end that I was in therapy because of it. This stress didn't have to do with our love for each other; our love each for the other was the good part that I still grieve over. I wasn't necessarily thinking of remarriage or sharing money matters. I was thinking about someone to love and be pals with. Maybe that is not moral to some of you, but I'm really quite a nice person all in all morally. I'm lonely, I guess, is the root of the matter.

The loneliness would be sooo hard . Alice you are a great person , you have a warm personality . Your creative . Of course having someone to love and care about , is not wrong . Finding someone who is mellow , kind , nice , a friend ... that is what I hope for you . I really hope all goes well for you . You could get a cat db

Another perspective from Dear Abby: As you assess this person, I think it is good to observe if this person is someone who has the aptitude to be a caregiver. Is he a nurturing type? Does he seem tolerant when you do not feel well? Is he kind even when things are not going so well? Does he cook and clean his own house? Does he have good judgment? What happend to the previous spouse? Can he afford hiring a caregiver? Is he even-tempered?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/06/2010 04:36PM by Dave.

Does he have a name Alice?

Haha, I wish, Barb. No, I am just daydreaming at this point. I am very shy and though I have activities that take me out of the house, most of these are with women or children. So there is little hope, but maybe some chance encounter??

Dave AKA Dear Abby, yes, those are the sorts of things one observes in a guy to judge if he's a gentle man. Also, he has to be a non-drinker,which might limit the field....

Thanks at least for talking with me about it as that relieves some of my loneliness, too. db, you are sweet. I did get a kitten last summer, and he's extra special and lovable. Soon after Phil died I adopted a big goldendoodle dog and named him Phil's Jasper or PJ and he also livens my spirit.

I just googled a goldendoodle , sooooo cute . I love kitty cats too , but , I just pretend other peoples cats are mine , when I am visiting friends and family . I'm allergic , those cutties give me a headache . I do though have some pet crows

Congratulations, db!

I think you just hit upon the only pet I HAVEN'T had!!!

jl