My eye!!! My eye!!!

Sorry, Suzanne! Duck next time.

I know Peter didn't mean to be offensive but it always strikes me as jarring when someone asks for people to talk about their experiences because they have a decision to make and then someone posts that no one here can tell someone else what to do.

It makes it sound like that was what was going on here and that was NOT the case. We all wish Julie well and no one is going to be judgmental whatever she decides, not about an issue like this. Julie asked for experiences. Some of us have had positive experiences with nursing homes and some of us have had negative ones and with others it's mixed. That tells Julie that it's possible to have a nursing home placement work out well and also lets her know about potential problems to avoid or watch out for. All she can conclude and all we want her to conclude is that NH placement is an option to consider.

Honestly, no one here wants to tell Julie what to do.

I don't think anyone TRIED to tell Julie what to do! The merely shared their own experiences (both possitive and negative!) so that she could weigh it all and make her own decision.

I just don't think that providing an honest, personal perspective is in any way "negative"! It's "positive", because it is potentially useful!

jl

Bottom line, any nursing home placement is a deeply personal decision based on and individual's resources and abilities in the given situation.

There will come a time when caregiving for someone with HD reaches a level that requires nearly round the clock attention. It pushes caregivers to try and do very difficult, near heroic actions.

If someone isn't able to fufill the patient's requirements and still maintain their own life and the lives of their loved ones, the decision becomes one of necessity; not of lack of ability; or love; or faith.

Only the person dealing with that situation can accurately access the situation and determine if what is happening is the best senerio for all involved. Only then can one tell if it's time for that change for the best interets of all involved.

If we need help, we need help. We don't try and put house fires out by ourselves. We don't have lazer surgery at home. And it may be time to face up that one person can't do the work of a care team in a nursing home 24/7.