Well, It's happened, I have completely fallen to pieces. My father has Huntingtons, onset at age 62. After finding out is was HD for sure I have been on a spiral to hell. I am convinced I have it now. Anxiety attacks, fear of dying, imaging symtoms or am I???? I've decided to get tested. Maybe knowing will help me on the way to healing. Does anyone have any input on this? THis feeling of hoplessness and dome. My shrink says for me at this point knowing for sure will help me more than not knowing and driving myself crazy with thoughts of systoms. I am at a complete loss and full of anxiety as what to do. I can't live in this state any longer, waiting and wondering but.......will knowing change things? Will someone please talk to me who has gone thorugh the testing and how they ahve handled it since then. Please help me make sense of this.

Hi Lisa,

I also have a dad diagnosed at 62. But it sure made sense to us once we were able to look back at past quirks and behaviors. In the last 2 years we have had 4 aunts, 3 cousins and my Dad test positive. We didn't know it was in the family. We handle it one minute at a time. We spend alot of time supporting each other and trying to make sure that the caregivers don't get to worn down. I've been looking for a nursing home for a 50 year old cousin all this week. I went through the testing and tested neg. E-mail me if you want to ask some questions.

Lisa

Hi, Lisa,
I can certainly relate to what you said. (See my post under Someone Please Help Me posted by Agape.) I felt exactly the same way you do--convinced beyond any doubt that I had it and was already showing symptoms. Even the neuro who checked me out said I had some "subtle" symptoms that could be HD. Even worse, my daughter was showing signs of juvenile HD. (Panic attacks, temper tantrums, inability to sit still, among others.) I too felt that sense that my life had changed completely--for the worse--in the space of one very short evening.

I gradually, in the four months between finding out and getting my results, came to the conclusion that I could handle a positive result (which I knew I would have). I determined to survive it, the same way I would have battled and survived cancer, or any other life threatening disease. I decided HD wouldn't be a death sentance for me, or even a debilitating mind-robbing disease.

I gave myself permission to worry ONLY during my daily 2 mile walk. Because I had read so much about the devastating effects of stress, particularly on the brain cells, I tried very hard to control this. Exercise is key, in the same way our ancestors, in running from that saber-tooth tiger when they had a potentially harmful adrenaline rush, burned it off before it could harm them. (And also escaped the tiger! Maybe a poor illustration, but you get the point. Stay active to fight stress!)

After testing I took a short vacation, convinced it would be my last HD-free weekend. A month after the test, my neuro called me and told me it was negative. I couldn't believe it at first, but then felt as if I had been given a last minute reprieve.

However, I am convinced I could have handled the news had it been different. In a weird, strange way, I almost regret that I didn't have the challenge to look forward to--beating HD. (No, I don't participate in competitive sports, or life-risking activities. I'm usually considered sane, in fact, so this reaction puzzled me.)

I hope as you face your own HD trial you can find some of the inner strength I did. I hope your results are just as "positive"--meaning, negative, of course. (A real paradox, huh?) Feel free to email me (ksflake*at*home.com) if you have any questions or need a cyber shoulder to cry on. I have found some real friends in the HD community.

Good luck,
Kathy

Please I want you to tell me what drugs to buy for a friend that is suffering from enlargement of the heart. I want you to also tell me the course and also an advice on how to prevent it from occuring or rather from enlarging more larger.

Regards,
Horatio

I'm sorry we can't answer your questions, Iyare, but we are not medical doctors here, just members of families dealing with Huntington's Disease. Good luck in your search for information for your friend.