I try REALLY, REALLY hard to make sure my opinions do not "morph" into personal hostility.

That being the case - I'm quite dismayed at the open hostility towards me that is now being allowed - even encouraged - on this site.
I have always given Marsha and Steve kudos for not allowing that kind of crap.

That seems to have changed.

Now the rule seems to be "What the heck! JL says some things that offend some people. She has even said a thing or two that offended ME!"

So never mind that it's virtually impossible to AVOID that - let's all jump all over her at once!

Great fun! What the hell can she do? Especially since the site-management now seems to seems to CONDONE this sort of thing?



If anyone wants to talk to me in a friendly, non-judgemental manner - my email address is jsaint_cloud@comcast.net.

If I have earned any friends at all on this site - please let me know.

I was silly enough to think I HAD earned some friends over the years I've been posting.

Now, all of a sudden, I'm finding myself feeling pretty friendless!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2008 08:40PM by jl.

I don't think you are friendless, JL. Unfortunately, sometimes things are misunderstood when they are typed and not spoken. Also unfortunately, sometimes when someone tries to explain what they actually meant, it gets even more out of control (forgive me if this seems extreme). I respect both you and Marsha and hope that everyone can move past the conversations from last night.

Quite honestly, Sally - I'm unaware of the references to "conversations from last night"

Marsha and I disagreed. Not the first time (though it's been EXTREMELY seldom!)

Turns out, I don't think we disagreed at all.

We were simply basing our "facts" (equally true) on different hypotheses.

No big deal with me. Being a life-long "techie", I'm quite used to that!

I don't consider it an insult if someone disagrees with my IDEAS.
My lord - if I did THAT, I'd have spent most of my life being insulted. HARDLY a productive use of my time!

It's virtually impossible to EXPRESS an opinion without SOMEONE taking offense with it.

This site (of late!) has surely proven that!

I have actually found this site to be PAINSTAKINGLY fair and just. I've appreciated that. I've APPLAUDED that.

It's with deepest regret to me that I find that changing.


For no reason, in my opinion.

Marsha was citing "group" statics - and her stats were right (they vary).

I was citing "idividual" statics - and I was right (they're 50%).

These two facts are NOT CONTRADICTORY! So I'm quite unsure as to how anyone could conceive that Marsha and I are at "loggerheads". In my opinion, we're not.

But of course, I'll allow Marsha to speak for herself.......

GIVE IT A REST JL,

WE ALL LOVE YOU, AS DOES MARSHA!!!!!
you cannot accuse anyone here, of not wanting to be your friend.
cause thats silly talk!

this place would be awfully boring without you, and it would be just
as disasterous if marsha didnt feel she could post here without being
picked on. i'ld have to say you are of a more fiery spirit than marsha,
and you do get on your soap box. but its cool, except when you get your
feelings hurt, than we all feel bad.

as for marsha, i must say, she is pretty respectful, and reserved, and
has never been one to spat, but she is really the mother on this site.
and i dont see her as liking to create discord.

so lets all, just go have a rum and coke or whatever, and come back another day, when we can leave it behind us...

OH AND JL,

I'M BUYING...

Well, of COURSE Marsha "can post here, without being picked on".

As she has warned me, "This is HER site - and she can say anything she damned-well pleases!" This of course, is true.


And, as I have said - she has USUALLY been gracious to me.

That's why I've been dismayed to receive some very rude and condescending communications from her, of late.

I consider that to be totally out of character for her (at least in MY years of posting to this site) - so I've been rather at a loss as how to deal with them!

WELL JL,

i cant pretend to speak for marsha, and i've no way read all the exchanges between you two, but the thing is, if she seems testy to
you, it may be, she is under a certain amount of pressure right now.
after all she will be getting married, she has a phd she cares for,
a family, and on top of this site, she has so many other duties, on
other sites right?

i dont think its about you jl, i think about the arguing, and perhaps,
pointless fights, that she doesnt have time for. well lets face it,
marsha has a life.... te he te hehe...

maybe we should just cut her some slack...yeah lets do that!!!!

k?

I've cut Marsha lots of slack. I've heaped loads of praise on her.

I've sympathyzed with her familial problems (with her grown daughter and her ex-husband).

But, you know what? I have a "life", too! I've just suffered a devastating loss of income - and the resulting necessity for obtaining permanent disability benefits.

I have HD. My only surviving sister has HD. My ONLY brother swears that he doesn't have it - but has also been very unwell.

My PHD sister has 4 children, and 7 grandchildren who are all at risk. And if you think that I don't care about them, just because they are not MY OWN children and grandchildren - then, you're entirely wrong!

My mother has advanced Alheimer's, and cries all the time. My step-dad has LESS-ADVANCED alzheimer's - but also has diabetes.

So, you might say that I have "a life", as well........


And as for "pointless fights" - why does she pursue them?

I have tried to point out to her that they're pointless. We actually are NOT in disagreement - to no avail!

You're quite right that she's entering into a marriage - but you'd think that would be a happy event - not a traumatic one.

Especially since she and Steve have had some time to think it over!

Every indication I've had is that both Marsha and Steve see it as a joyous occasion!

OMG

Who do you think you are anyways!!!!! Suggesting that steve and marsha's upcoming marriage is a TRAUMATIC event? Who do you think you are??? You need to be quiet right now and butt out of their business, how dare you!!!!!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/13/2008 05:23AM by Barb.

Ok...I think enough is enough. Can we PLEASE just get past this?

Barb I don't think JL was saying that. No need to shoot JL down yet again.

JL I don't know what to say lol If I say something you will probably argue with me, but I do feel for you and don't want people with HD to be singled out (not that everyone has done that!!!).

Hoping not to piss anyone off

Matt.

[www.hdyo.org]

Hi JL, Alice here. I haven't read what's going on, but I'm curious to know how you are doing with your cat? Is she as special as Savannah? My 14 year old cat William is losing weight and lying around a lot. I'm worried about him. But I got a new dog! He is one of those trendy goldendoodles, a mutt that sells for a lot of money. I adopted him from a woman who didn't have enough time and room for him. He is a clown and really livens up my other dog Jenny. They run lickeyty split around our big yard having fun. I named him PJ for my husband, who passed away two months ago, and the dog is cheering me a little (but not much).

<<< Shakes his head at this whole thing because I too have felt unwelcome by the "hosts".

I know all too well how things can be misconstrued in a chat/message board forum, however some things are quite obvious. I don't know if that's the case here as I don't know the parties involved, I'm merely speaking for myself.

For one person to feel as they are unwelcome or can't get support,to a site that "seems" to present itself as a support site, is a shame.

Perhaps an approach of sharing ones own experience strength and hope is a better one, as opposed to indicating whether someone elses behavior, feelings or opinions are warranted or not.

Matt, i did not shoot jl down, yet again as you say, and nobody has singled her out, she has singled herself out to argue and rant and rave strictly cus she just wants to fight, but not one person has fought with her, and in her rage she is also attacking marsha's personal life now. I am heartbroken for marsha. And jl, i thought you were my friend too, but i was crying last night wondering what is wrong with you and wondering if you are ok, but do i dare post anything to you, noooooooooooo. But go ahead and get mad at me jl, take some of the heat of marsha, say whatever you like about me, cus i prob wont be reading it anyways, because right now i'm going back to bed.

Barb the way I saw what JL said about the marriage was that she didn't think it was a truamatic event, rather something to enjoy. The previous post was Skmf12 listing things Marsha is under pressure about. I simply saw what JL wrote as saying the wedding is not something to feel stressed about, enjoy it.

Maybe I'm wrong, JL can tell you.

I just hope JL sticks around. Marsha your a lovely woman too.

[www.hdyo.org]

ALICE, is a GOLDENDOODLE a GOlden Retreiver and Poodle mix? I'll bet it's gorgeous. I'm so glad you've gotten another dog, I think any furball can help cheer people up! The unconditional love you receive has got to help. I've been thinking of you and hope you are coping well.

OK let's everyone take a chill pill

Thank you, Matt!

But of course, I've been "singled out"

No one as eager to jump all over me than Barb!

Once again, she has misstated my words - this time A TOTAL REVERSAL OF WHAT I SAID. As Matt astutely stated.

I have been nothing but overjoyed over Steve's and Marsha's upcoming union. I've expressed that clearly (at least, I thought so!) on numerous occasions.

For Barb to sanctimoniously jump all over me on the basis of a statement she attributes to me - but is THE EXACT OPPOSITE of what I said - is growing extremely tiresome!

Downright hurtful!

Barb claims to be "my friend" - and eve claims to "love" me.

Well, I certainly don't ask for "love" from people here - just a modicum of understanding and respect!

Between Barb's attacks on me (usually based on TOTAL misinterpretations of my words and motives) - she's claiming to be my "friend".

Well, folks - with "friends" like Barb - I don't need any enemies!

I took your comments the same way Barb did. It's time to put this alllllll aside. Now... I'd also like to know about your cat.. how's it doing JL?