My point is that there are 2 basic rules of civil discourse.

Disagree with the "ISSUE", as much as you want.

But no "personal" attacks. No impugning the MOTIVES of the person you disagree with. No accusing that person of words or thoughts that they have not expressed. No accusing people of "attacking" you, when they have not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2008 07:58PM by jl.

Wow, look what happens when you leave.

JL I can assure that I have worked since I was ten years old, I helped my mom pay her bills since I was 16. I have never not had at least one job. I have a resume that opens doors and a reputation that gets me jobs. I am not sure what my qualifications have to do with anything.

I have tons of corporate business experience, international business experience and self owned business experience and now not for profit experience. And had my career not been cut short due to HD who knows where I would be now. It certianly wouldn't be arguing with you on a stupid board.

I am still working JL. What is your point? Not only do I work, but I volunteer in the community, I am what you call a philanthropist. I volunteer for my daughters things, and HDSA. I have single handedly raised about $3k for HD and I don't even have it.

I grew up with nothing JL, but yet me and my six sibs have pretty good lives. All but one are on there first marriages. College, yes I even have a degree. It took me ten years, self paid. Went to a good school to, only got c's but that is what happens when you work three jobs to support yourself and go to school. I am the first person in my family with a college degree. The first one to walk down the isle for high school degree. I built a nice life for myself and have lost almost everything to HD. My life is a mess and my house is too, but I keep it together for the love of my kids.

My daughter is smart, a fact, not a wish. She is the smartest in her class and her grade. And if she will be happy flipping burgers in this po-dunk town that is all I care about. But with God's help she won't be and if she stays here she will be the one hiring.

I can go toe to toe with you JL and all of your stories except I don't have HD or a dad who committed suicide. We are not much different, I just don't beat people over the head with my blues.

Sorry again I forgot your point? Do you want my resume, it is pretty impressive I am told. I am not sure why I am spilling this for public review, especially since you will shoot holes in my background I am sure nothing will be good enough to prove to you that I am worthy of dealing with HD in a morally responsible way. Oh well.

Can I have some popcorn please?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2008 08:06PM by MRO.

Maria - I respect and admire your accomplishments, just a I wish you Would respect MINE. No, I have no desire to exchange resumes, as I consider that to be largely irrelevant.

I simply wish that people responding to me would afford me with the same respect with which I TRY to afford them!

Disagreeing is not attacking.

It really ticks me off to be accused of things - and to be attributed with words and thoughts that ARE SIMPLY NOT MINE!

I've never SAID that. I've never THOUGHT that! So, if you're attributing words and thoughts and motivations to me that are utterly foreign to me - then indeed, I have a right to object!


MRO said, "Sorry again I forgot your point? Do you want my resume, it is pretty impressive I am told. I am not sure why I am spilling this for public review, especially since you will shoot holes in my background I am sure nothing will be good enough to prove to you that I am worthy of dealing with HD in a morally responsible way. Oh well.

Can I have some popcorn please?"


Maria - this is EXACTLY the sort of disrespectful attitude toward me that I object to!

Thank you for providing me with yet ANOTHER example..............



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 12:58AM by jl.

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 12:06AM by Barb.

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 12:07AM by Barb.

Ok I think everyone has been a tad out of order... A private msg to JL Steve/Marsha would have done it rather than shut the F up and F you`s then everone else joining in to add there disrespectful comments in and acting all high n mighty!

Yes stating points over and over is annoying but ppl CHILL!!! No need to all gang up on the one person and make then feel like s**t when you should know that that person never intended to make other ppl annoyed or upset.

This is a public board and when people come here looking for help and advice and see this do yous really think they are goin to think wow this seems like a good bunch of people and a place where I feel comfortable posting my problems/worries.... Dont think so!

lou you are right, i was out of order. You see, that's cus i have hd. Nobody got out of order but me. None of the caregivers did. They all remained calm. I am a phd, and i flipped out and got out of order. I can do that, i have hd, and swearing is such a fun relief sometimes. This won't turn anyone away from the forum. It will just show them some of the bitchy truths about me and hd. See? Everything is just so cool, it's fine. I'm feeling very fine now, must be the extra meds i took, or maybe the popcorn...but i am fine, i really am, and it's just hd, and everyone knows that, us phd's just act up sometimes

If u read again u will see I said everyone... so plz dont start getting bitchy with me aswell Barb

I know you said everyone lou, i just changed it to say what i wanted to say, that was all. It was said on another thread that us phd's can be manipulate bitchy women, so i actually just thought i would try it out and see what that would be like, personally, i dont think bitchy and manipulative is looking too flattering on me, it is kinda fun, never really tried this out before, just an experiment



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 03AM by Barb.

Speak for yourself, Barb....

Thank you, Lou. You're right.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 04:38PM by jl.

Awe, you are funny jl, and i know ive been kinda bitchy, and im sorry. I actually had a real bitch-out at my hd clinic yesterday, yup, they all got to see it, i flipped, big time. They tried to pull a student neuro off on me, that would have been ok if my own neuro, who i had the appt with, would have been there too, but he was apparently not going to be part of the appt other than to step in and say a quick hi to me at the end, i flipped, i bitched, i was hysterical, i started crying, i said im not just a friggin research rat, i am a patient, and this was my appt, i am what is most important here, i was mad, i was flippin mad, and they finally managed to calm me down, i wasnt told ahead of time, this was pulled as a surprise to me, and i didnt just get mad, they got to see a whole total hd flip-out, i got hysterical, i had to be calmed down, my neuro gave me a hug and said i am more important than any research, and he did my appt like it was supposed to be. So other than that lol, rest of my appt was real good, and will post on other thread tomorrow.

Barb, Not only were you 100% correct to feel that way about your appointment, but oh well, I guess that student actually learned something after all EH?? LOL... Good for your Neuro for stepping up to the bat like he should have to begin with. I've had students sit in on exams with me also with various Dr's but never alone, that's just not right. You SHOULD have been told and had the chance to turn it down. YOU GO GIRL! Pat

I came to this site to seek advice and see what other cargivers are going thur with there phd and to see what the phd have to say as to what there going though. Not to read the mud sling and curse words that I have read. Yes everyone has there own opinion but I really think people on here can use words other than curse words. I hear enough of them from my hubby when he's having a bad day or get's mad at me
Let's all take a chill pill.

just my personal thought

BJ

I normally just ignore where some of these threads seem to go. I've read this board and every post on the forum (well almost every single post) all the way back to when it started. (I was searching for enlightened HD info and experience).

In doing that I've learned some of the names and who has a tendency to attempt to "bait" people into arguements.
I've also tried to understand as an HD caregiver that some posting on this board are from members who may be dealing with some of the difficulites of being an HD positve person and they might have a tendancy to be "looking for a fight".

My suggestion is to "duck" when you see a snowball coming your way and try not to let some draw you into the fight.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 02:39PM by LizzieAnn.

Lizzieann AGREE WITH YOU 100%

And then, SOMETIMES the slinger of the arrows is the "caregiver" - and the TARGET is the PHD..............



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2008 03:26PM by jl.

Everyone needs to take a step back and take a few deep breaths.

The Yogis have a saying, "He who only half breaths... Half lives." And through deep breathing we gain the vitality that we need to caring on.

I probably should let this thread die without adding a comment, but for whatever reason I feel I need to say that this thread distressed me. I have been in a real funk lately. I usually bounce back and go on without self pity or depression. I always see the glass half full rather than half empty. But this time I had come here to get some advice and just have the people who understand better than anyone else on Earth to tell me, ?there, there. It will be alright.? Right at that moment, I needed to have someone listen to me. But two threads that I looked at had posters grumbling at each other, and frankly, I don?t feel like having anyone grumble at me. I don?t feel like foul language or insults. I am a very tired caregiver right now. Can?t we get back to trying to help each other rather than bring each other down? Maggie