Just a typical visit with Bonnie at the nh. She is laying on a mat on the floor, no windows,at the end of the hallway, wet diaper, she is at the end of the hallway-out of sight -out of mind for the staff. Sore on her ear that has eaten through to the other side, she weighs.. 56 pounds. She cannot swallow enough of liquids to help her weight. She cannot talk, walk, or even cry because of her dehydration. Pressure sores anywhere she lays. Hospice does their best, but they are not there 24/7. My view on this-she stopped living over 2 years ago when the hd hit hard, I am just waiting for God to say enough pain for Bonnie and take her to Heaven. That is the day I will rejoice. Assisted suicide? I admire anyone who can make that decision for themself.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2007 06:14PM by stevei.

I hope she will pass away soon. That is so sad, and happens so often it seems.

Very sad for Bonnie,but I have to say I agree with on the assisted suicide.So many people are against it,maybe they have never seen a loved one suffer like we have we have with hd.

Take Care my thoughts are with you.
Julie.

I am so sorry to hear how horrible this has become for Bonnie and you. It was so hard to read.....this is my biggest fear for my husband...I do not want him to suffer like that. My heart goes out to you! I will keep you both in my prayers!
Sandy

Donna, your sister sounds like she is a horrible sight for you to see, it sounds like she is in a terrible state. I wish there was something they could do to help her, especially the bed sores must be really painful. So very sad, i'm so sorry.

To hear of Bonnie-then think of the nation wide coverage that was spent on that lady whose husband was campaigning to allow her to go...even caused an emergency weekend whitehouse meeting I think. People were camped out, protesting the inhumane treatment this man was supposed to be trying to cause on this poor lady.

I wonder if these same people who spent their time, energy, and money on this cause ever spent ONE SECOND in a nursing home changing a diaper, rubbing a back, or just soothing a distraught human being. I guess we all pick our battles, but I don't know, sometimes I get so angry. I know it is not my place to be judgemental but don't we sometimes have our priorities in the wrong place? Am I too much of a bleeding heart? My younger daughter has always had a habit of picking up strays and expects me to bring them back to health and keep them or find homes for them(and I do not like animals-ok- I admitted that) I told her "If you would invest the same amount of time volunteering in a nsg home-even if you go to read to someone, then I would be more receptive to your animal cause."

I used to work with implanted pain pumps with terminally ill patients and people with chronic pain. I remember in particular, a lady I got very close to. She suffered more and more every day. I could increase her morphine easily with a fancy computer. At one point the Dr had me explain that one more increase could ease her on out and end her life. She chose to endure the pain a little longer ( a couple days) said her goodbyes to her family, then had the increase. She died the next day. This happens every day in homes and hosptitals. Then you have someone like Bonnie.

I am sorry if I am preaching. I just wish that we could give everyone the same dignified treatment. And they could pass on with as much comfort and dignity as possible.

Bed Sore-
I don't know for a fact, but was told by the nurses when my dad had them, that they are not painful because the nerve endings die off therefore they can't feel them?

There are all kinds of pain. From all-out physical pain to mental anguish. Each person's experience is unique to them alone.

The best we can do is to try to put ourselves in their shoes - but even that is an impossibility. Well-meaning as we may be.

That's why I'm a strong advocate (and practitioner) of letting everyone know, if at all possible, what your wishes are well in advance of the painful turn of events that forces such decisions.

Not everyone is able to do that, of course. But it can make such decisions so much easier on those who are left with them.....

LaDonna, I am so sorry to hear that Bonnie is being ignored by staff. We were very lucky with my brother. He did not get bed sores in his second nursing home and was treated with care and respect. Howver, he could still swallow and eat when he developed an aspiration pneumonia that killed him. The pneumonia was a blessing for him and for us.
I wish the nursing home was at least hydrating Bonnie with an IV and providing more comfgort. My brother had a special chair and was comfortably, safely and humanely restrained with an apron-like aparatus.

La Donna,

Does anyone here live near Bonnie? Or maybe know someone who lives nearby and could drop by? Maybe if a couple or three people that you are close to...maybe they could help out. Just to be with her. It surely does not seem right. I am so sorry.

Im so sorry to read about this situation Bonnie and yourself are in, its so sad and hard to read as Sandy said.

Louise x