My mom died of HD in 2004. After 15 years of taking care of her, I tested negative. My only brother never wanted to be tested and can't have children for an unrelated condition. He is alone and he's almost mom's age when she became symptomatic. It's like an elephant in the room sometimes...we just don't discuss it. I have two young children and a happy marriage. I always include him in our lives. I feel so awfully grateful for the miracle that I've received for my chance at a HD free life. But I think he's showing signs. He can't sit or stand still, is having trouble driving, and has no self confidence anymore. He's clumsy and has trouble understanding simple things and gets lost sometimes. Is he scared? Is his self confidence gone because he's scared he has it or is it really HD? Should I broach the subject? I don't want to make him feel worse about himself or encourage the idea that he's positive, but I cant help feeling I see signs. I want him to enjoy his life NOW and tell me what he wants for himself since I would be his caregiver. Or possibly involve him in clinical trials or new treatments...What do I do?

Laurie

Wow, tough situation. And no easy answer. Somehow I would try to manage the conversation. Sometimes we wait until it's too late. I would try try to talk to him before it becomes an issue for him to really see that there are issues... Maybe gather a close friend or family member to help you tackkle this issue?

I worry about my younger brother. Somedays he seems he may have symptoms. Hard to tell right now; he's a recovering H-addict. It may just be from all the issues associated with that. I feel for you; I dread the day I might have to have that conversation with my brother...

Could you address just the symptoms? And you mention he may be scared-perhaps you could start by letting him know you are willing to care for him under any circumstances. Because we are in our 60's now there's always the possibility that something could happen to me before DH. We discussed who would take care of him should I become ill or incapable of taking care of him. It was a real comfort to him to know that he would be taken care of. After taking care of your mother for such a long time and with a family of your own your brother may feel you would be reluctant to take care of him too. If nothing else getting it out in the open may ease some stress and answer some things he may be wondering about whether he has HD or not. My prayers go out to you both.

Thank you for your advice and support...

I think I'll approach him when a private moment presents itself...maybe close to the anniversary of our mom's death. We both had such a difficult childhood, foster homes, abuse, alcoholism, and then mom becoming symptomatic with HD when we were just starting adolescence, that we are very close. It's just such an emotionally charged situation for me. You're right, Audrey, the subject of taking care of him is diffucult. I heard from a mutual friend that the reason his GF of 9 years left is that she said she was seeing signs of HD and had already informed him that she would not be his caregiver. I admit, I have serious reservations about tackling this disease again. It's the hardest thing I've done in my life and really love this life of being free of HD, my own little bubble. (Although, I'm still involved in the fundraising efforts yearly). He is only 37, mom started showing signs about 41. It's hard to address just his symptoms, they're just so vague. But over a longer stretch of time the symtoms are more appearant. My brother, like yours bluedaisy, was an addict. His drugs started with prescription pills and went from there. But he's been clean for about 5 years now. Who knows? Are the symptoms just brain damage from past abuse? I think I'm just going to start the conversation and ask if he worrys about Huntingtons? And see where it goes....