I have no one else I can speak to about this, so please forgive me if this is TMI...

Ever since I got my HD results back positive, my husband has been pushing me away emotionally. He has started picking fights for no reason. He throws fits and threatens to divorce me. We've been together over 10 years, and in that time, he never once spoke about splitting up or mentioned the word divorce until after I got my results. Now it's "maybe we should have a trial separation" because I forgot the re-usable bags when we went to the grocery store. He becomes incensed when I make the littlest of mistakes or can't remember something right away, like the plot of a TV show we watched weeks ago. I probably don't remember because I was fretting about my positive results, not because I am losing my memory!

My dr. Says I am pre-symptomatic. I don't see any symptoms, and my husband has said he doesn't see any either. He must be worried about what is to come.

I've asked him to please level with me and tell me if my HD is a deal-breaker. I would SO MUCH rather find out now and live my life than wait until my symptoms are so bad I can't even go outside or meet someone else while he sits and stews, hating me more and more with each passing day. But he yells NO before I can even get the sentence out. Maybe he doesn't want to admit to himself that he is losing interest in sharing his life with me any more, because that would make him look like a huge asshole? It would, but I'd rather find out now than when I have no voice left! I feel like I'm risking my future and guaranteeing I'll be trapped with someone who hates my guts in a few decades just so that he doesn't have to feel like a jerk right now!

He even punched me in the arm last week. He has NEVER shown any of this type of behavior before in 10 years! He knows full well that physical abuse is a deal breaker with me and that I dumped a long-term boyfriend for exactly the same thing! He used to adore me and make me feel so loved. Now he treats me like an indentured servant, an unwanted urchin with nothing to offer.

I realize everyone deals with things differently, and he could be just in shock. He has every right to feel any way he feels. But I can't help but wonder, "what about me?" I'm the one who is sick! I'm the one who is going to die, wether he's around or not! Don't I have the right to know what he's planning to do?

Punching you is a crime. You don't deserve to be treated that way. No one does. You need support. Of course we can provide moral support to you here but you need more than that. I am thinking of a domestic violence counselor- there should be services available through your city or county. There may be a social worker at a Center of Excellence or associated with a nearby HDSA chapter you could talk to. If you want to try to save your marriage, what about a marriage counselor? It's obvious that he isn't going to be able to talk this out with you without some assistance but I think you need to line up your support first, see a counselor or social worker on your own first. I am also wondering if it would be a good idea to have an appointment with a divorce attorney since he is making threats to divorce you. Do you have family nearby to stand by you?

Marsha is right on target! And nothing here ever seems to be TMI. I am sorry for your positive results but it may not be the death sentence that it was in the past. It certainly sounds like your husband is having problems dealing. Counseling for you separately and then together might help. Positive results are a shocker no matter how much you try to prepare yourself. I am sending you hugs and prayers. And keep writing here because the people are fantastic!

HD is a big load to carry both for the person with and the spouse as well as family. I think you've gotten some good advice. Who am I to speculate as to the reason. You have a lot on your mind. Will it go away? I doubt it but with time you may be able to compensate better. It's still early and thankfully you aren't symptomatic. He may be dealing with this in the wrong way and may not really know the correct or best way. Physical contact shouldn't be an option. Counseling would probably benefit both of you with the right person. Being in early stages it has been very good for me as well as my wife. An outside party sees things much differently. Good luck to you.
Mike

Maybe one thing has nothing to do with the other. I'm sure the HD isn't a good thing, but there could be more going on than that.

Counceling is useless in almost all cases where one spouse is the only one pushing it.

There are issues you both have. It could be that he is looking for someone else, not because of the HD, but because he's just reached some point where he's no longer interested in you.