We have a big day coming this week. My sis will be going to court to have her family case reviewed. Her children were temp. removed and she seems to think that her care team (they vist her; counselor, parenting sessions, etc...) are telling her that she must get her own apartment so she can get her kids back. My mom tried to explain to the team that (sis) that she can't live on her own, but they seemed to think my mom was trying to hold my sis back! They met for an hour a week with her and don't see the reality of my sis's condition. She has good days, but they just aren't enough for raising and caring for children.

We (my mom and I) have tried to explain to my sis that she needs to stay and that we may need to seek out guardianship for her kids. She is unable to comprehend the big picture. I want her to be with her kids as much as possible, but she just cannot have them on her own. Right now she sees them 1 hr. a week for supervised visits. Its not fair. She deserves more time. Her care team does not "get" hd. They think that she just needs "parenting lessons."

My sister is not simply under educated, uncaring, or other wise bad parent. Up until two years ago; she was "suzy homemaker." She knows how to be a good parent. HD has taken her ability to make good choices and fully care for her kids. Right now her kids are living with our aunt. She has never been a parent. She is in her mid 60s, diabetic, and severely obese. She uses the kids to keep up her house. She loves them, but she is not really doing the best job. Plus, she had alienated my sis and is very rude and mean to her. (I think she resents my sis because she, now reminds my aunt of her own dad: who was HD+ and very abusive). My aunt is well meaning, but she is controling and not respecting the fact that my sis is still the girls mother! She always will be. Even though my aunt is HD- she is damaged from the effects of having an HD father. She is over feeding the kids: mainly fast food. The 8yr old got "cradle cap" (she doesn't make sure they shower), gained significant weight, doesn't wear underware... The other girl is eating hardly at all. My aunt is not checking for the little things as a caregiver should.

We are afraid to mention these things (to DHS) because they might be put into regular foster care. I eventually want to get the girls, but can't find a place yet. Very scared about what will happen to the girls.

Sorry for rambling. I just want to fix this situation. I don't know how!

I wish you all the best in this horrible situation!

I wish you all the best in this horrible situation!

The judge extended the court involvement (added a new date until July). The judge was quite stern and strongly suggested that my sister and her ex-husband come up with a person they want to be a guardian. Praying that everything falls into place. It's so sad; hd is taking so much. She should be able to see her kids more than an hour a week.

Does anyone out there have/had a situation where children were taken from the home as result of HD?

I feel for you and your sister. I pray that it does work out for the best for your family. I can't imagine losing my independence and my children. HD is so far reaching isn't it?

This is such a difficult situation. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Paula

I am so sorry that you are in this situation, it truly is the worst possible predicament to love someone and realize they no longer are who they were. That being said, the children are in need of care. It does not sound like your Aunt is capable. The state will want to use family ifrst to keep the cost down, however, is that always the best? I read your statement about "regular foster care" and am wondering how that may be worse than your aunt. Your aunt seems to be neglecting the children and foster care placement maybe a better environment. IMHO.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Klivin, you may be right. I am trying to attain the guardianship, but the dad is dead set against me. We were told both parents have to agree. I guess he would rather foster care than me.

I am wondering why he can't take care of his own children? Don't post if this is private and you'd rather not but I am thinking that if he is not willing to assume responsibility, then I am not sure why he gets veto power. I'm thinking that there must be some left over bad feelings from the divorce. He may think that you would disparage him to the children even though I know you wouldn't do that. Does Family Court have a mediator so that the two of you could sit down and explore the possibility of your taking guardianship? That might be a way for you to reassure him about his concerns and to emphasize that you will have the best interests of the children at heart and will be putting the pass behind you.

Yes, there is a possibility he may not have the right to make that decision. But, the judge said as of right now he needs to make a decision, even though in two months he may lose his right to make that same decision. He is involved in neglect situation, stemming from allegations stated by my sis (his) wife. I am the one who called the police. Result: he blames me for his current position. I was simply acting in the best interest of my two nieces.

It's complicated and I realize that we just need to be patient. I don't think even the judge knows what to do right now.