My husband is no longer fully capable of handling our financial affairs. So far I have been able to do our banking and investing with him - not much of a chance from earlier days. Now however, I need to approach him about making my role official - that is, by having my name on all his accounts, trustee papers, powers of attorney and the like. Does anyone have any experience/suggestions about how to do this delicately?

My husband was diagnosed with hd about 8 years ago (at age 50). We had wills and POA drawn up for both of us, not JUST because he had hd but because it is something that everyone should do. We updated them last year because the attorney recomends everyone update info about every 5 years or so. The first thing I did was to call an attorney that specializes in "elder law" and explained our situation including my husband's hd. When we went for our appointment the attorney was wonderful about explaining to my husband the reasons for drawing up all the necessary documents. He explained both medical and durable power of attorney to my husband, and made my husband understand that these things were necessary to protect the assets the he and I had BOTH worked so hard for during our lifetime. Somehow the fact that the recommendation came from a third party
made my husband much more willing to agree. Maybe you could just bring up a conversation about wills etc, in a casual conversation and see how he reacts to the idea. make sure you talk to your attorney by yourself first so that he understands the your specific situation. I hope I have been some help to you.

Yes this is very dilicate...My son who will be 40 this year and has HD did make me his guardian and power of attorney. We got a lawyer to do it the right way, had to go to court and it went real smooth. The lawyer was a big help in explaining to him why this was the best way for him to handle this plus his divorce.

Power of attorney can be changed very easily, guardianship is the best way to go, especially if you plan on staying his caregiver. The reason I say this is because at the time this began his ex wife wanted him to make her power of attorney and she would have used his daughter as ammo. Its a long story......

God Bless You and Your family.
Olivia

Mendelle,

My experience is much like D.J.'s. An attorney, specializing in elder law, is ideal. My wife and I could find ourselves rapidly spending down our assets if she needs adult care at home or ends up in an adult care facility. We were very fortunate to buy 5 yrs. of long-term care insurance before she retired on disability. But if that is not enough, then the spend-down could REALLY be a killer. The elder care attorney knows Medicaid rules and ways to help you preserve assets that you will need for your own life, should he predecease you.

While you are at it, talk about a medical directive. I dreaded talking about the issue, but when I obtained a medical directive document format, I told my wife that we both needed to do a directive as part of the overall plan. I began drafting my own medical directive and discussed it with her. Then, I asked her if she had similar thoughts. She readily agreed. I made ours identical. I found it worthwhile for myself. as D.J. said, this is wise for everyone.

Dave

hi my name is Kaitlyn and i am 14 years old and just 6 weeks ago in the 26 my grandfather passed away with hd and i was really heart broken. i was really close with him. just a few weeks before that we went to go visit my aunt who lives by him and my mother(his daughter) said why dont we go visit grandpa. and i really didnt want to go. i stayed up the night before and i was really tired. she said lets make a night out with my aunt and uncle so i said why not hes not gonna do anything but just sit there and stair at me. when we arrived we found him and we jsut sat there while he was eating his dinner he started to hit on me. my mom said it was because i looked like my grandma. same face structures. my grandma died when my mother was 18. so my mother said that i should go take a walk but i didnt. and from that day on i feel good about my self for going and see my grandpa for the very last time in my life and this is a very tough subject to talk about.

I agree. You need to get POA. That can be handled by about any lawyer, but if your husband isn't cooperative, you will have a problem with it no matter how you approach it.

There are two ways to go. POA is the easiest. It's a simple signature from your husband. Conservatorship is the other. That's a guardian. It costs (where I am anyway) about $50-$100 for a nice legal POA. If you go Conservator, both you and your husband have to have a lawyer. That's at least $2000, and takes weeks or months to complete.

I have the POA and it has worked well with all my wife's affairs. It doesn't hold the power of a conservatorship. If a DR feels like she is okay, it's void. If it's torn up, it's void.

Kaitlyn, you are a very brave and loving girl to have first gone to see your grandpa, and second to have stayed even though some of the things he might have said were inappropriate. I'm sure you already realize that the things he did after the Huntington's Disease took him over were not your grandpa at all. Instead it was the disease causing those things. I am very proud of you for being able to show your love for him in that way. When you look back on your grandpa, remember him as he was before the disease.

Kaitlyn,

If you can, consider that your grandfather was a very ill person, and probably had little awareness of what he was doing. Remember him by his good years. With HD, people may act in ways that they never would when they were healthy.

Dave